Feeling a little "overdone" with lots of AA meetings in my original "home" group lately, and been called on to share a lot / pick topics, and sharing readily. Someone mentioned doing the 90 meetings in 90 days when new and not talking, and I considered not talking. Then I realize I have stuff to offer, and some meetings / people need that. I don't know! I guess I need to accept progress is the goal, not perfection, because I'm tired of having amends ahead of me. I came to a point w/ my sis, hearing how abusive she's being, where I'm finding it very difficult to let go. I talked to my dear friend G about it for a long time, and he has clued me into the fact of her spiritual battle. She used to be a very important person in many churches, which she's completely fallen away from, and it is rather eye opening to realize from this perspective, her family is really suffering. She used to be a pastor and now what? It's awful to hear about her emotional and verbal abuse to my family members and I guess I have to accept God is keeping her away from me for a reason, because I've been through way too much abuse in relationships, and realizing from her in childhood, to have this burden upon me. I cannot rescue the kids, just be there for them, and it's frustrating to deal with someone who is lying. If I keep in mind the spiritual nature of the situation it helps.
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I have faith that your HP is protecting you, I am glad your friend helped you see your sister\'s situation in a different perspective....sometimes, when I hurt, i can say very hurtful things, or the other way around, when others are hurting, like in the case of my sister, when she is hurting, she can be very hurtful verbally....it helps to see it in a broader way, how the disease has really affected us, and now I am trying to see that when she acts the hurtful ways she does, I can do certain things to protect myself e.g. detach, put a boundary, say no, but also try not to take her emotional pain personally...because its not about me, but how she feels and sometimes she just needs someone to vent, and i happen to be there or she does it on someone else... ( I just hope that I could remember to use the tools in a more timely manner, cause usuallly I am hurting and then find the tools to let go and let go).....hugs