I finally reached my sponsor and it was wonderful to have that connection with her.  She seemed to have missed the email I sent so I am glad I tried not to take it too personally. I got to lead an Al Anon meeting last night and one of my role models said she was "jealous" I was able to articulate stuff she could not, which was such a big compliment to me because I felt the same way about her!  Wow.  We talked about anger which was a good, popular topic and I got to shed some shame by sharing some stuff I knew I was not alone in. I got to lead a womens AA today and share on guilt, which was also a really interesting topic. I feel in love with this young LC and just our connection which I am lacking in my life.  He's not in AA these days and he may need it again someday, so I feel a little bit more comfortable being more on the edge of the scale of flirtation - anyway I just adore him and he's a little flirty but it's more than that - he just inspires me in a way to follow my dreams since this is what he does and he has his youth, which brings up a lot - I'm getting older.  We're friends I just am touched deeply by him and I think he's adorable and it's ok - I don't have to act on it, and in my shyness it's good to develop friendhships and try to overcome my insecurity - I always used drugs and alcohol to do that, now I'm sober so it's a whole new ballgame. My temp job did not start out after all yesterday, I got told of a new one.  I guess the old one let go of the temp agency, understandably, they pay dearly for it and could not afford it, but I was released for a "couple weeks" which I realize is not to be believed, since they don't keep their word.  My coworker P finally responded - I almost gave up keeping in touch.  I like him!  I found out they let go of the agency.  Sigh.  Live for TODAY. I told my exbf (who is rather psycho who I finally, completely avoid) from last year's friend, well I told his friend about his son in law hitting on me, so my ex will be hearing about it - I am concerned about protecting the family, and the son in law and ex's daughter are pregnant again - not a good situation.  Anyway I got the friend involved and I don't know I wanted to tell someone and also protect his daughter who may not want to know anyway, and I don't want to get into the middle - she is psycho too.  But I still care about them and would want to know if it was me.  Apparently the son in law is beating the dog - anyway sounds like abuse runs in the family.  Sigh. Walking to local meetings, staying in better shape, eating better, feeling depression lifted - expression with sponsor and at meetings has been crucial for that I suppose.