The best I've felt in the last few days are right upon waking - I think my thinking is what is causing me to feel depressed.  I know I need a big long gratitude list to get my attitude improved. I did a yoga class at the gym today which I am really enjoying regularly. It seems the temp agency which confirmed a temp position with me supposed to start tomorrow didn't really confirm it on the company's end so I am up in the air about when I start. I am glad to have something part time which will work into 5 days, so in the meantime on days off I can do background acting, which I enjoy. I have been going to plenty of meetings at my "home" meeting place which I've distanced myself from for 2 years, which is growth for me.  A girl even asked me about sponsorship today - I am thinking about it, not one to make decisions on the spot if it is something I need to think over. I am getting a lot out of Al Anon and kind of have my eye on a temporary sponsor type just not in enough humility to let people help me.  And my MA sponsor well I guess I need to be more assertive about it - it does not feel good to feel so out of touch on her part.  Sigh. I'm doing a lot of walking to the meetings now and for the dog.  It is a bit hot which I suppose leads me to laziness.  I had picked up a coffee habit last week and well it does seem to improve my mood and those days I felt low I didn't have any, I don't want to feel dependent on it for a lift, but if I am that low isn't it ok?  I went ahead and got ice cream last night which is so addictive for me, I just want more today and the next day and so on... anyway I am feeling more like I don't care about stuff which may be a good phase to go in to make amends since I am not so invested in expectations.  I would like to work with this attitude to my (and God's) benefit.  God please relieve me of the bondage of self that victory over my weaknesses may bear witness of your love and way of life always amen.