I am doing well with the exercise plan so far and do feel it is helpful in dealing with stress, sense of wellbeing and fitness and sense of accomplishment. I was able to use stairmaster 20 minutes Saturday this time on the lower setting which I enjoyed and was proud of myself for not giving up, having only lasted a few minutes the first time on the middle setting! I got a text from my exbf who must have seen me on my way to Al Anon today, that my hair is growing long again and it hurt to see my face. We broke up a year ago. I didn't see him. I guess the male attention felt good in a way and I guess after some of the ways he treated me it was almost nice in a weird way. I did take a 2 year cake for having been in Al Anon that long as of June. Good for me! Had I stayed when I first went a couple times in '99 my life would have been completely different with much heartache saved. I had 3 different men ask me to go along with them somewhere this weekend, all from AA, one I had experience with when I was new 4 years ago... one on a day trip, one to his sister's for a bbq, one on a drive - and I said no no no... My tendency is to get in my head and like the attention and think it is good for me, when I don't want to mislead someone I'm not interested in, and also on the other hand I think social engagements are good - but isn't it ok to want to be around people I would pursue, or is my "picker" too broken? It's like a drug the attention and the high wears off and I need more and I guess that's why I have done much of what I've done in my life including the exotic dancing career. Had a really long "text" conversation with my young friend LC yesterday . I ended up reminiscing some of my past since there was this weird connection with the dream I'd had and his text, about the same band I used to love / follow/ as a teen and dated one of the member's twin when I got older. So I was in the city yesterday for a meeting, and quite liking being in the city, and got nominated secretary so I'll be going over there on Sunday's for a while, and I took myself a 'walkin round the city to old haunts, not going in, but sad, reminiscing what was, and wondered what I'd be in that scene around alcohol as a recovered alcoholic addict, would I be healthier directed? Much of my dream is to publish what I've written about the music scene for many years. This friend inspires me a lot and reminds me of that dream because of his own. I'd told him I knew he was special the first time I saw him. We've remained friends even though he's pretty much left AA.