Last night sis reached out to me, called and asked me not to say anything (to mom or dad).  She said she's miserable and thinks her new live in boyfriend (who she moved in right out of a 10 year prison sentence, who she left her 19 year marriage for, who is now living with her and her teen kids) anyway she thinks he's high (he was a heroin addict and apparently was clean in prison two years).  She said he's mean.  I listened to her and shared about my own experience, and suggested the place I got counseling for abuse and suggested Al Anon.  She doesn't want to let him go and doesn't understand why.  I told her a secure relationship would tolerate physical separation. I said I suffered so much for similar issues.  She has to go through this herself, and I am glad I can be here for her.  She said she doesn't talk to anyone about it and isolates.  He had taken off and wasn't returning her calls.  I just kind of went through what if scenarios with her and related and didn't judge.  This could go on a long time.  I've been in such similar situations surely. Anyway I am having a little hard time not wanting to rescue and check in today - I know she needs to do what she needs to do.  I reconsidered inviting her to my Al Anon which kind of out of her area - I think allowing her to seek her own help is healthier for me. Yesterday this guy I have had a crush on since the first time I've seen him (one of a few rolling around in my head these days...) well he happened to have saved the chair next to the one I sat in for my friend's 60th bday AA celebration, so it was a random occurance to sit next to him.  I took some time to talk to him after.  We used to share commitments at the same meeting and no longer do, and I asked what other meetings he goes to, and he mentioned one I could attend that is "mixed" male and female, also a book study.  Anyway at least I broke that shy barrier and talked to him.  And it's ok to feel feelings - acting on them is another thing.  I guess I miss having someone in my life or dating or being affectionate.