My love addiction kicked in.  Karaoke last night and I had sort of a flirty intention going out.  I have not had a boyfriend in nearly 3 months, longer than we were together.  Anyway and who was there but this young newcomer from AA who is not desiring to quit drinking now so is not coming to meetings, and I've always had a crush on him and never acted on it, anyway I just took some time to swallow my fear and just talk to him last night, and I told him I missed him. Yeah his myspace msg he said he missed me too and gave me his #. Some other friends mentioned going again tonight and I wonder if he's there.  He reminds me of how I was a young attractive dancer and used to use my looks to get attention and tips, and how since I quit that business how I've really almost let myself go - I just don't use that anymore, that looks, and being older it seems rediculous to try to dress and act the way I used to, I just don't know how to act, and it's OK.  Sigh.   I thought about him a lot and I don't have to act on this, I am so shy and people probably have no idea  I have crushes because I haven't flirted anymore - well lets see about flirting in sobriety, that's a new one! I got a 60 year sobriety token for my friend who is having a birthday in AA on Monday - a true legend! Went to a lavender festival w/ mom and cousing today - really neat to be on an organic lavender farm and check out all that was interesting.