Msg from R yesterday where he finally had something to say after a week of msgs.  He said he is sorry he hurt me and he never stopped loving me, and that he went out and did stupid stupid things and didn't want to call and hurt me by telling me, but he hurt me anyway and he's sorry. It was actually kind of nice.  My last ex bf last year was is no way that close to being accountable so I think our experiences color us so much. I realize he relapsed and was in his addiction and I didn't hear from him for almost 2 months, but when he'd lied about relapse that last night I saw him it just really ruined everything for me, but it didn't make the feelings for him disappear and it was very painful. I feel some closure and peace and still want to continue with my "hetox" of 60 days (no contact suggested in book "It's called a breakup because it's broken" which I love.)  I feel sorry for him and realize he has a long way to go to get better.  I have 2 weeks to finish 60 days of not talking to or seeing him.  It definetly helps me heal and I'm so glad I avoided his calls. It is my doing by dating a newcomer, and also my codependent behavior towards him, taking care of him when it couldn't be mutual.  I can't blame him and need to be more careful when it comes to who I date because I got hurt pretty badly.  I think his acknowledgement will help me get over it more easily.  I feel fortunate.