For memorial weekend there are "alcathons" - marathon meetings - at the AA clubs, so I took in a few.  It was nice. I ran into one of R's friends who told me he's back in the area where he had received addiction treatment when we were together - I already know that.  I said "good".  Then he said he'll probably be here tonight, and I walked away.  I have tended to avoid this person because it is all about "how's R" on his part - that is all we have established in common so far, we were both friends with him and trying to help him get into the treatment program and so forth. A friend who a half hour early who had asked why I was smiling suddently asked me what was wrong - I don' want to see R, ok, especially at AA - but heck, that's where I met him, though he hasn't been around there in months. I told the friend "nothing", then later told him he was perceptive and could see something was wrong and that I have some praying for someone to do. The topic of the meeting was the grace of God and I got to share about my desire to extend it to others instead of strugglig with this resentment I have towards "someone". Sigh. I did karaoke at the other AA club last night and had a blast, glad I went and stayed.  I am sad those of us who were going on Saturdays at the bowling alley / bar lately are not going except for maybe me, as the "main player" seems to be in relapse mode and it's not the place to be, understandably. Stay in today.  Let go and let  god. I was hoping to go to alcathon tomorrow and don't want to run into R, if so I can just maintain MY part "I need space" without putting any blame on him.  I realize I am angry for his lies and self centeredness and abandonment and not willing to put up w/ it any longer which means stay away.