First week off school job - funny how distance creates more clarity. Heard from R last night, who says he didn't want to hurt me by not calling the last two weeks and also didn't want to hurt me by letting me know he has relapsed deep into his addiction - was kicked out of his VA addiction treatment program and wants to get back in, and is out of town.  I know he let himself down.  I don't know I just know I don't  trust him anymore after lying to me besides all the other unhealthiness around the whole situation.  Good for me for using Al Anon and reading daily literature and attending meetings. I cried in AA yesterday - rare these days.  Dad was being hard on me for letting go of my job.  I was sad about not hearing from R. Today a guy in the meeting who I have never talked to asked if I'd be interested in a job as a manager of a night club.  It seems off the wall, I said I'd think about it.  I don't know how much  I trust him - it just seems really weird.  I gather from what I shared today he thinks of me as smart and trustworthy, and apparently he owns multiple businesses.  Would I do it without pay - this is a "key" to knowing if this is a job I'm "passionate" about - it seems totally out of my league which is a challenge, but no, it doesn't "call" to me, so I immediately dismiss it, yet feel stuck at the possibility of good $ - which I know for me is a compromise, as to me work is so much more than $. This computer at home is ultra slow and frustrating.  I have a chance to get on it since Dad is out.  I've felt low energy the last couple days.  It is nice to not be busy and to let myself feel some feelings.