R left a message last night.  My last two relationships were very back and forth with multiple breakups and reconciliations.  I don't really have a way to reach him.  He acted as if he still wants to be together and wants to talk to me. Trust is not easy to regain.  I don't trust his eyes, and the people he chooses to associate with in his program, I don't trust. Anyway, part of me wants to hear what he has to say and the other part says don't believe it. I have new sponsees that are not following directions, and my sponsor is helping me see the need to persist or move on.  I don't know how much clearer I can be, and if the 3rd time isn't the charm I may not be "it" for them.  I know I have an MA sponsor and attend AA and I'm thinking about finding an AA sponsor take me through the steps in the AA book like I seem to be "missing." Work has been good.  There are things that just BUG me - I deal with compassionless people, though others are golden - anyway, I am moving on and it is my last week here and I am relieved.  Monday another instructor told me she is also quitting because of how "unethical" they are and how "blatant" they are becoming about it - I totally relate.