I have napped the last few days, which is good, and gotten full night's sleep, too. Yesterday R's friend from his addiction treatment program, his wife called me, to say that she asked R how I was doing, he said he "didn't know" so she called to see, and that he was there outside.  I asked why she wanted to know.  She said I was one of two girls in our significant other's group who she liked.  I said thanks.  I told her I wasn't going to talk about R, that I'd rather talk to him directly.  She acted clueless. It bugged me so much.  I have spent a couple afternoon visits with she and her mate and R, anyway I was just like, bothered, deleted her # so I wouldn't be tempted to call him there.  I am having difficulty detaching.  I am rather hurt he has not contacted me, even though I said not to during all the drama. I guess having boundaries and standards and not settling for dysfunctinoal situations at work & in relationship still leaves me dealing with some loss, which I have a hard time with.  I guess I am used to things getting much worse and not "nipping them in the bud." I find comfort or relief in reading celeb gossip mags, which seem to take me outside of the pain. as well as TV, which always seems to work.  I do have people reaching out a bit, I am not reaching back much. 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Oh glorious sleep! It feels so good to wake up and know you\'ve had enough.
It sounds like you\'re going through a rough patch, I hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnel though, you\'ll make it there! When I read your journals I can see you growing and learning with each entry, and I admire the way you handle things and the compassion you have for others and the respect you have for yourself.
That\'s great to hear that you\'ve got new sponsees aswell. They are very lucky people! I wish I lived near to you so you could be mine! Hah!
deleted_user
deleted_user

The loss you feel is part of the journey towards finding yourself in functional situations and relationships. Hang in there! You\'ll see it pay off - I\'m seeing it myself at last, after years of struggling, and not settling for things that weren\'t for my highest good. HUGS