I know I need to tell certain students I'm planning to leave my job here at the school. It's possible I'll be brought in as an additional staff person in this department, which sounds good - that is a main concern, that I lack "back-up" here.  I just think I may cry because I really like working with the students and I am fond of many of them.  My sis told my mom she has considered stepping down.  We have the same employer and boss, she said she has trouble with the boss, too.  Sis said good for me for speaking up :) Doggie, who is about an 8 pound terrier poodle mix, got bit by a vicous German Shepherd up the street.  He is ok and the neighbors seem understanding.  He is injured, but will heal and is lucky.  Mom is traumatized about it, as is the puppy.  I'm so grateful he's ok. I am sad I wasn't more positive about my job, or that it isn't different.  I told my sis I love it and it's a shame - I just hate certain things that are wrong here and they just ate at me.  I just don't understand how I could make such a choice. It will be hard to tell Dad.  I could still work here in another capacity if I want, soon, teaching.  He is proud of me for having this job, and isn't often proud of me, actually never told me he was before this. I gave notice on my one year anniversary here.  I go back and forth between what I love about it and what I hate about it, I guess that's normal for me.  Life. I am growing tired of feeling like R wants me to come out. It's far and he got busy last time I went out and I grew tired of waiting, and left before he got home. He said he'd take the bus to see me, and I said I didn't believe him, and he said it's doable but it would probably take 3 hours and it would suck.  I said then don't say it!  I'd said if he spent half the energy trying to see me as I do him I wouldn't be so pist off.   I have trouble with people saying what they do not mean.  That is the final straw that pissed me off with my boss, and I went in and gave notice. I just don't tolerate that from most people.  It hurts too much and feels misleading, deceitful, disrespectful.  Anyway it's like he says he wants to see me and do something and I know the transporatation depends on me, it's far, issues are coming up between us that are difficult to deal with, and my car doesn't run well in the heat, and it's getting warm. On Sunday before our blow out where I took off when he was on his way home (late), I had really wanted to do something (else) to take care of myself on my day off.  I can't kill that part of me by ignoring it, it will scream out.  My late aunt told me "whatever I'm sacrificing is not worth what I am getting".  So true so true.  And I can't make him "see" it - he will just wait for me to compromise.  Sigh.