Things are better today.  Earlier in the week it was awful.  Yesterday I overdid it complaining to the boss and said I was considering quitting.  It's a big problem, the lack of supervision and a supervisor who hasn't spent 5 minutes in a year watching what I do, and doesn't know how to do any of it, and there are so many disagreements, but some help. The support groups (AA) has helped.  I also went to MA for the first time in a long time Sunday and took my 4 year chip.  It felt good to be a part of and see wonderful people I realize I miss and connect with. DS has asked for community leaders for particular groups, and I'm supposed to be selected for the marijuana addiction and recovery group.  I wish it were anonymous, wanting to blend in and not draw attention or expectations to myself. It is a neat opportunity to be part of a wonderful thing.  Basically it's a role of someone who can try to be members who make sure all the issues that go wrong here are being addressed :) Thanks for your thoughts, messages, prayers, for your shares. Humility helps, as I tend to beat self up especially for conversation yesterday which did NOT go well - defensive on my part, just holding in so much that I've put up with for so long.  Years ago I got into a similar situation and left that job for 2 1/2 years!  It was awful. Some jobs don't bring that out in me, but I am able to adapt.  Others like this one eat at me, the stuff that's wrong. I made some calls this week and visits to try to get myself in the habit of looking for something else.  I get to talk to my boss and discuss if I do want to quit. I may get fired because of my complaints, I don't know!  Anyway, God sees things from a bigger perspective and I trust God to see my problems as his solutions.  So much is tough for so many and this too shall pass.