Work is very busy this week and I am unable to catch up here until another time. Today I noticed a woman at AA and recognized her as the sis of my friend who I had my last drink with, a friend who does not know I am sober or in AA! Or would even think I am an alcoholic. I know she is an addict. I've met her, but she seems to forget me. At first I felt nervous like I don't want him to know. I realized that was ego, and that I could be in a position to help her, a newcomer. Anyway I did say hi to her at the break, and nothing else. Like many there, she is there on a signature card, not necessarily because she wants to be there. She may have gotten in trouble. I got called on to share and mentioned how my last drink involved me being the designated driver for this "dear friend" (otherwise unmentioned), and that I "intended" to have zero or one drink, but not in acceptance I have a problem, I couldn't say no to one or stop there, and drove anyway, and swerved, and I'm glad I got help before I got me into an accident or worse. Sigh. I have guarded my anonymity very closely and there comes a point when I have to realize God is in charge and I may have to give my friend a huge shock. I don't want to deal with the lack of support or understanding I expect from someone who I care about. I found myself calling R today and wondering why he hasn't called much this week. I realize I miss him and will go see him tomorrow. I need to accept he is a newcomer and is irresponsible. Honestly he doesn't have cell phone minutes, but enough to see someone calls and call them back from another line. I guess to think the situation is anything more than a little insane is unrealistic. I am coming down with another cold and went and got some good vitamins and herbs and a nice neti pot to clear my nasal passages. I am excited about it.
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