Saturday I found a small bird with a broken wing hopping around.  I was walking the dog and cupped birdie in my palms and walked it home, got a cage and some seed and it was all good!  It seemed to be thriving, then I got some different seed yesterday.  The first kind was for wild birds, then I got some for finches / canaries and it died that night.  I feel sad Mom found it this morning and told me I lost a bird. I was reading last years private diary entry for the day and it talked about a bird and putting it in a cage with containers and how it went into one of the containers.  This is what happened yesterday, and it died in there.  It is normal for me to have these "prophetic" type dreams and they run in my family. I feel sad.  I read the AA book about staying out of self pity and remorse and morbid reflection because it takes away from my usefulness to others.  It is ok to be sad.  I hope I didn't kill it with the wrong food - it was eating it and seemed happy.  Anyway it was a beautiful small olive green bird with yellow belly and black and white wings. I went to see a movie Gran Torino with dad Saturday.  It was quite good.  I think we both shed a tear.  It was nice to do something with him - rare. I took myself for a manicure and pedicure today which was a treat, with a parafin wax treatment.  I really needed it. I come to work and I'm grateful I didn't quit.  I even got a call from a temp agency about considering me for a receptionist position.  To be in a position to say no is interesting. I looked into the MA convention and it shows growth in my recovery that I could attend if I wanted to, I'm financially able.  The first year I went 4 years ago, it was my first convention, and even my 2nd convention, I slept in my car. It was only an hour from home but I was enthusiastic and stayed late and arrived early.  I used to sleep in my car from time to time, being a resourceful hippie type, when it was convenient.  Anyway last year I was able to stay in a hotel due to an inheritance from a dear AA friend.  This one is out of state and sounds fun to go to Seattle.  I even invited Mom, she loves it there.  She doesn't feel like flying.  Anyway.  I was content with spending that weekend home, which it may be my sobriety birthday date, God willing.  Anyway sponsor says not to worry and I won't.  I'm indecisive and I'll decide when I am ready. Tomorrow I am looking forward to the class for the VA rehab program R is in, so I can visit him on Saturday.  We'll see how it goes! I went to Al Anon and didn't feel like sharing about this new alcoholic in my life.  I guess a woman there I was close to, I guess I judge myself around her, or I just feel vulnerable since she was someone who told me she'd never bring up my ex again after I told her I didn't want to hear what he was doing, and that wasn't the reaction I wanted.  I told her I appreciated being able to talk to her about him.  She set a boundary I guess.  So what is going on is I guess I am a little self conscious of people knowing my business. I straighted up my room and vacuumed and did dishes and swept floors. I must be feeling better, but I feel like I need to buy some more of my the herbal homeopathic medicine I've been on because it ran out.  The state of my room and clutter has bothered me for so many years and it's not going away on it's own.