Today I made a call to my debt consolidation program.  I used credit for many years and 7 years ago after 9/11 I maxed out all 6 of my credit cards and could not get more credit or cards, so I chose to consolidate, which meant no more access to credit, same amount of minimum payments, but reduced interest rates.  This month I am making my final payment of about $500 out of $30,000 of accumulated debt.  All that credit accumulated after years of making monthly minimum payments and keeping good credit.  It has been so trying on me, but a growth process, too.  I don't think I'll get credit cards if I don't have to after what I'm capable of, but in sobriety I think I have less inclination to overspend like I did, much of that was spent on my marijuana addiction.  I decided last night a good reward would be to take me and mom to a spa day next month instead of making my monthly payment.  We can get a massage and other various treats, which I've never really done :)  I think this sounds like a good plan.  I couldn't have done it without her and the support, borrowing money from time to time and place to live. I'm working two jobs with a cold.  Tomorrow is the last day.  I'm feeling really out of it.  I'm sort of on automatic, but really wish I could leave early tonight.  Tomorrow is graduation night at the college.  My own college graduation I drank champagne out of the bottle and it was really a low point in my alcoholism, really shameful, embarassing. I got a call from R about visitation hours in his VA rehab program, and that I could go to a class for significant others to be able to visit him!  It sounds interesting and I hope the class fits my schedule.  He called for my address and is going to write me.  It feels good to have a connection with someone, and also to have some distance between us to go slow, and it feels so good to finally feel over my ex, not that I want to be around my ex, but to just feel distance after so long of not being able to stay away/ leave.  A few weeks back after going throug the steps in "It's called a breakup because it's broken" (by Greg Behrendt) I really felt like I'd gotten all the processing of the situation out of my system. I decided the guy who I do volunteer work with who is overly friendly is definitely making me uncomfortable - I don't believe he's free from ulterior motives.  It is ok to go with my first choice and not attempt to get closer.  He's married and I just get a potential "swinger" vibe like he's feeling me out for that, and I'm SO not interested.  He's just really friendly and it's nice but no, I don't have to move any further from where it's at. I found Google maps and saw options to view satellite pictures of addresses!  I entered my street address and saw a picture of my car parked in front of my house, and you can scroll over and zoom in and go up and down the street, it's really weird.  I was looking at an old neighborhood where I stayed in Oklahoma, I really miss the nature and scenery there.  It is quite fascinating, the roaming satellite shots.  I look forward to showing mom because it shows her outside at a stage of her gardening project in the front yard and you can even see puppy.  If you haven't tried using it it is quite fascinating.  http://maps.google.com/maps I'm really glad I spent some effort bringing lunches and dinners with me during recent work weeks, it saves so much money, time and calories versus eating out, & you don't really know what you are eating. Last night I felt kind of sad like people I relied on here may be doing other things and it is sort of loss I guess, but I do wish them well.  It's interesting how close I can feel to some people here, more friendly than my face to face friends in some ways.