Merry Christmas AH.  I don't know.  I got to work after already working another job today and the barage of emails and realizing what I have gotten myself into is overwhelming.  I hear from my boss it is my responsibility to make these students complete their study plans for math and writing when it is not part of their coursework or a requirement for their graduation.  She said It is your responsibility to get the study plans complete and this will only occur if you have outstanding follow thru I responded... I think unless the completion of study plan is a requirement for graduation I don’t see how I can make them do this.  If this is the responsibility that falls on me I don’t feel confident I this is a job I could do. Thank you,  Anyway!  You could say I am a little overwhelmed, and it showed when a class showed up.  It's called PRESSURE.  Anyway now I have set up a boundary and it is up to me to keep it up.  I mean that's why the guy I replaced got fired, and I don't need a termination on my resume. I like my day job doing administrative assistance for a great girl who is a great supervisor.  I got to work on some "java script" to update a website and found it quite neat.  It would be nice to have a job I prefer.  This one at night pays a lot better and there is the "down time", but the responsibility seems impossible at this point. An old friend from high school who I haven't seen in nearly 20 years is in town tonight with some other old friends and I am working and unable to join them.  I am rather pist I am not there, however one of the girls was a sponsee early in the year who stopped returning my calls.  I was concerned if she breaks my anonymity as a member of AA and an alcoholic.  That is a no no and I don't know if she gets it, I never discussed it with her.  I'm very private about it and I would have to explain all this.  Anyway. I did take time to go to the gym today and use the jacuzzi. I am tired of men trying to be friendly there and when they ask more details than I want share, a couple times I've said "never mind, thank you".  I'm there to totally chill.  I worked so long in bars I have a low tolerance for lonely men needing conversation.  It's like don't bother me.  I try to be polite I am just not there for that.  Now a couple weeks ago one friendly guy was cute and seemed nice, and I noticed this other guy look at me dissapprovingly like I was treating the place like a singles bar and I sort of just ended any conversation.  It was just small talk.  That didn't seem right, either.  Mom reminds me my "picker" (of men) is broken. On Christmas night I get to do lead a meeting.  Mr (used to be) now had originally picked the topic they let me have for his meeting that day (Step11) & he says he'll be there.  I'm like whatever, but not looking forward to it at all.  He called this weekend to ask me to go somewhere with him, I couldn't hear where.  I was busy and thanked him for calling.  I am not going anywhere with him but telling him this doesn't seem to get through - he consistently hears what he wants to and I'm tired of it so I don't say anything.  I guess considering his track record with not hearing a word I said I am not thinking he'll float well with the guided meditation format.  Oh well.  Acceptance.  I need to call my sponsor.  Some stuff has started to accumulate these days and it is time to deal with them. I got to lead Al Anon yesterday and was pleased with my brief share and topic of "recovery".  I am grateful for the meeting and the readings we do from the book, which really point to the solution. Since I started my two job a day schedule (which won't resume for a few weeks) I was only able to make 15 minutes out of a meeting today, which was when the leader shares.  I didn't see the need to hang around during the 10 minute break for 5 more minutes of sharing.  Anyway that routine may have to cut it while I have this schedule, which I hate to say I'm rather dreading.  Winter is for hibernation!  And I miss spending evenings with mom in front of TV.  Besides, maybe I'll tell them I'm not comfortable with the responsibility here.  I don't see myself being more successful then the guy they fired who I'm replacing. Update:  I just remembered something. I forgot to turn over the job, the class, the students and the results (and my coworkers) to God.  They're all his, not mine to take care of.  I can only do what I can do and all this is way out of my control.  That prayer has been helping so far, actually saving me at this workplace.  I got lazy.  I forgot.  This is so important to remember and to do.  I am ready to quit over this new responsibility.  I feel is too much for me to bear.  It is ok.  We'll see.