Big day.  The energy of going into the city where I lived. I had a nice lunch with sponsor and other program people, and connected with a woman who attends a womens writers group and I said it sounded neat - one of my mentor authors goes there even.  Wow. So she is writing a novel based on her memoirs, and I mentioned that I journal since childhoodand want to publish.  It is putting myself out there. :)  Vulnerability since they read what they write and they receive feedback, and she already started "should-ing" on me.  Anyway.  I could really look up to her and I've always been intimidated by her, as she is open and loud, and I am closed and quiet (usually) I was in the city and ended up in the neighborhood in the hills where I last lived in town, with an ex boyfriend years ago who I was with when I hit my bottom.  I  remembered his # and called him!  I cried.  I so identified with what I did there, and the energy of the city versus here where I grew up in the suburbs is so different, and affects me.  So I'm like who am I ?  I used to dance professionally, if you call it that.  I was very good at what I did and loved it.  That's how I met him.  I disassociated with who I was there.  he said he missed me, which shocks me.  When I called a couple years ago to make amends, he was not giving off this vibe, wanting to come see me.  I said I wasn't trying to start up anything, that I wanted to see how he's doing,  and I was apologizing for some things.  I was so hard to handle.  He was my last real boyfriend before this last ex.  Weirdness.