Today I did go to a womens meeting, which was so good for me to bond over the common theme we shared.  It was quite healing to know how many of us had happened to have gotten abortions, and to be able to share about it in the meeting for the first time, and to have actually finally done some healing on it, something that was the worse thing that I have ever been through.  I would never wish on anyone the pain that choice has caused me, as personal as it is.  I am just relieved my 12 step program and ability to make amends has really healed me quite a bit. A big argument with Mr Now today.  He is needy of my time and I need space.  He keeps giving me painful details about my ex which I repeatedly ask him not to.  What details about me as a person I have told him he forgets, and it's all rather painful.  He told me he has heard my ex share about having 3 girlfriends at once.  This doesn't supririze me - I didn't realize he was like this until after I got involved with him, and we were already exclusive (though getting details like this makes me question his business during our times of separation, even though he claimed to have not had any experience during those times, I doubt it now.)  Anyway I was crying.  I told Mr Now he tramples my feelings and he said he didn't know.  When I reminded him once again I am not over my last relationship and not ready for another one, and he was asking me details about it and I said this wasn't the place.  When he realized it was about my ex, he didnt' know I was talking about that guy and he got so upset!  Who else would I be talking about?  So he insists on giving me dirt on my exbf when I begged him not to, he was really a bully about it and vented and stormed off.  Not the healthiest situation.  I told him it's not ok.  Then I called him to vent that my feelings are hurt and what he did was not cool and he says "I promise I'll never talk about that guy again" and I remind him he's said that several times and I don't believe it anymore.  Anyway.  Ugliness.   I tell him it doesn't help me to move on when he gives me details about my ex.  Besides, he is sharing things heard at meetings, and that is a no no and he says he thinks that's BS, the anonymity thing and "what you hear here stays here".  I find his lack of anonymity appalling, because it is so important to me.  So it's not looking good and I'm a little sad, because I do like him, my feelings are just hurt and I'm tired of not feeling heard - it is not good for my self esteem, and I can't change him.  Drama ahh.  So I went to the gym and come to volunteer work, and he has no memory of what I do here which just bugs me - see it for what it is not what I wish it would be. It starts out as a whisper and then it beats us in the head.  What did I expect? Keeping head up :)