I got very upet reading from my diaries from a year ago, and reading about the emotional abuse from my ex, and how he denied it.  I read about people saying he shared personal things about me in our home AA meeting, where I stopped attending basically back then.  It is still hard. Then I think about this current guy I am hanging out with, and his lack of boundaries with keeping things private.  He even said that when we say "who you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here" at 12 step meetings, that that is BS.  I said no it isn't.  Maybe in his croud, there is a lot of gossip. I'm feeling stuck already, just like I felt stuck with my ex, but in a totally different situation.  He's kind of needy.  He asks me days ahead if I can do this or that.  Basically he has asked me to help him type papers, and I said yes, only now I'm feeling obligated.  I don't feel ready for a girlfriend role - even though he has even said he would not try to take advantage of me if we went out of town together, like he is putting no pressure whatsoever for sex, which is VERY refreshing.  And he's never been married nor had kids either, which is nice.  And he wants kids, which is kind of neat. His bday party is Tuesday, and I feel like I will hang in there.  I need to be EMOTIONALLY HONEST.  I just feel that was crazy after our first kiss to ask me to go steady - what am I thinking?  He is not someone I want to take with me to meetings - I did that with my ex, and it was not healthy.  I need to have that talk with him, that it's suggested to go to seperate meetings from your partner. Anyway that's where I am at, and I am sticking to it.  I have a need for boundary healing myself, and as long as I keep working on myself, I am in the solution.  I have to learn to be honest about where I am at. To think I spent a year off and on with breakups with a confirmed denied abuser, who even accused me of being the abuser, is totally insane and lets me know just how I really need to go easy on myself and be honest about where I am at, because no, it is not all that as much as I'd like to imagine or pretend at times.