Young People's AA dance last night. My first of their event - I'm 37 and he's 39, so we were the grandma and the grandpa of the bunch, but there had to be a few hundred people, and we danced a little. It was pretty fun. We brought another couple, a guy I've known for a few years, so that was cool. Both of us ladies were French Maids - ha! He has a sweetness about him but also a little neediness. He has an innocence but also an annoyance. I don't know. He did ask me what the "guidelines" are as I have asked for space. Something to think about! I cried after AA. I have befriended a guy, and we read in the AA book about how we are people who "normally would not mix" but our common past binds us, as well as our growth in the 12 step program. Many of us are primarily addicts though we also have that desire to quit drinking and have struggled with powerlessness over alcohol, so AA applies, thank God. I asked him for his # because I need to reach out, and he is gay so I flt safe, as I tend to befriend men and not want to deal with that sexual issue. We are also of different races and addictions. I just cried because of the amazingness of the pogram that is allowing me to "mix" with someone I wouldn't normally! On thursday I saw the 59 year sober Dick who is 94. He asked if I have a new BF as he always does, as he's frind with my ex. He said "no more losers" when I told him "no comment". anyway his comment felt good! Another gossipy girl came up to talk about my ex and I had to tell her twice I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT "HIM" She apologized, and so did I for snapping. I cried after, because I miss Dick and I miss my old meetings. Maybe someday I'll feel comfy and just remember my ex is sociopathic-like and just deal with it. Ok so Mr now told me he went home and listened to love songs and thought of me and kissed his pillow until 3am. You see whta I mean about sweet, yet a little weird, I guess, but refreshingly honest. I don't know!
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I was right with you till the kiss the pillow part ! lol ! Have a great day !
If I remember correctly you are not going to your old meetings so as to avoid the X, is that right? I applaud you for staying away, even though you miss your other friends. You are doing the right thing. Everything happens for a reason. Glad Mr. Now is maintaining boundries, he might just have a chance with you after all!!! I too have many gay guy friends, they are cool, and I don\'t have to worry about the sex thing also. Can totally relate to that. Bravo for attending the dance sober and actually dancing. I think back and realize that I have never danced sober. At least not in front of people. You remain such an inspiration with your journal entries, sharing, and continuous helping those of us who have so far to go. I couldn\'t do it without you girl!!! Thanks for the great post. cheers J
Aw, that is sweet. I\'m glad you stood up for yourself. Don\'t feel bad about the snapping. Sometimes we have to get a little mean. Otherwise people don\'t get the message. I\'m glad to hear, you were moved by such good experiences, the one with the new friend, and the one with the old :) Very good journal!