Real grateful for counseling today.  I learned that as a survivor of domestic violence, I have this tendency to be "defensive", it sort of makes sense.  That part of our brain that deals with "fight, flight or freeze" turns on and we react instead of acting proactive - and it's better to wait until we are calm so we can come to a sollution.  So I learned about my defensiveness, and come to understand it more. I heard from the Brinks Armored Car co, as one of their vehicles collided with my car a month ago, and since it is Dad's name and he just saw the dent Monday, he asked me to call them.  The guys in the car reported that I had gotten out of my car to survey the damage and insisted they stopped - I stopped, but they weren't behind me, so I kept going.  They'd turned down a street they said, so I was on my way to work and blew it off - oh well.  Now they are saying they didn't hit me.  They pulled into my lane from the center divider.  I think they did.  Anyway so my dad called them after me since he is a "bull dog" (my mom's words).  I don't like the dent, but am not in a position to maintain necessary repairs at this point in time, much less deal with a stupid dent.  I don't want to fight this in court or something.  Anyway it bugs me that these guys made a report about me and then insist they didn't hit me.  It helps if I LET IT GO.  Dad wanted to deal with it, which is why I did.  I didn't deal with it right away because I was acting out of OLD STONER BEHAVIOR (my last car was so beat up it was pathetic - I just replaced it with this one a year ago). I saw Mr I don't know today at the meeting, and we did a little wave and hi, and it bugged me that he plays it so cool, and shares, and that he still sits in the area with his cigarette where I usually sit away from the cigarettes, I am BUGGED BUGGED BUGGED - probably because it brings up issue that I no longer to go my "home meeting" the last year because my ex attends there - anyway I really need to not date people I meet in AA - it seems I tend to, absolutely.  My feelings are hurt, and he has no clue. The guy who has a boundary and gossip problem, and talked to me about my ex, who I am supposed to type for this weekend, I have to accept I have started to like him.  Counselor says we can talk about if it is something I really like about him, or does attention just feel good.  Yeah I probably am that lonely.  And I do have boundary issues of my own, though I'm doing better with the gossipyness Some guy who flirts with me left his card on my car, this is the 3rd time he's given me a card and I throw them away.  I'm too nice.  I like the attention in that I need friends and like guy friends, but when they want something it is DANGER.  I am so not interested, and since they're not coming right out with it, niether am I. Reading a book "Boundaries and Dating" which seems so appropriate.  I NEED to deal with MY boundaries if I am to attract something healthy or atleast stay out of something unhealthy.