I did some good crying a couple nights ago.  I'm amazed at how much stuff is still coming up over my last relationship. It is time I tell this last guy I met for coffee a few times, Mr I don't know, that I'm not into dating now.  We haven't had a chance to talk and I am getting kind of tired of his "hangin on" in a way, like he wants to keep me his Friday night girl.  He sends emails but doesn't call anymore.  I just walked out when I saw him last Friday after the meeting.  I looked over and saw him talking to a girl, and I just didn't really want to talk to him.  I need friends, not someone who is interested in getting in my pants. I did a lot of reading outside today.  Beautiful day.  I walked doggie to the dog park.  I watched a movie with Mom - "PS I love you" appropriate, about the loss of a love and moving on. I am grateful I am letting myself FEEL this loss.  I get the sense with it being a first breakup in sobriety, that it carries a lot of weight, as if it's the compilation of many breakups I went through "medicating" myself with pot and alcohol are sort of needing some healing, too.  God I was such a pot addict.  How could I really FEEL anything?  I'm just so glad the relationship is over. Oh, and the "gossipy" guy I spoke about in the last journal... I'd talked to him very generally about my ex months ago, about his tattoos basically.  So he came up to me the following day to apologize and ask if I was mad.  He said a nice lady at the meeting had gotten mad at him when she saw me leave abruptly, and asked him what he said to me.  This is after he said "I'll never bring that guy up again".  So he says he told her that I like some guy who is with other girls.  Anyway.  Again, too much information.  So as I recognize his lack of boundaries, I have to see the same in myself.  I gave him my #, which is totally weird.  He and I have talked about me typing up some papers for him for school, since he types slow and has some deadlines, I said sure, and I'm like?  WHAT are my boundaries? (exactly.) Just glad to be single and not wrapped up in something ugly or uncomfortable, and feeling a real uncomfortable feeling with not having "the conversation" with this Mr I don't know guy.  I guess it will have to be at an awkward moment at "our spot" outside the meeting.  Because I'm not going out with him again, thankfully.  I don't need that icky feeling of I am not ready to hold this guys hand but being too "nice" to say no.  BS.