I've settled into some resentment towards the ex and his "lady friends" and I really need to do some spiritual writing on these - they are dangerous for us alcoholics/addicts.  My sponsor left on a road trip for a few weeks and she gave me the number of someone as back up - the woman may not know who I am, but I am open to calling her to deal with my "stuff" - which is not pretty, which I am comfortable with my sponsor knowing, and I guess is rather universal in nature if mine in particular. I had a relapse dream last night.  It was the ex's and I was inside his place looking out the window at him and his "ladies" and I had realized, I usually save him some of his weed, but I am going to smoke it all to "take" something from him since I am not "getting" what I want, (insightful - I do find a lot in my dreams) so I took a big bong toke - in my dream. I shared about the relapse dream and resentment in AA today in a general way.  I am grateful to have a solution - even if I don't always take it in a timely manner. I saw Mr I'm not sure (I keep changing his name) and I just got a soft spot when he said he's been painting me a ceramic cup, anyway and I do like him in some ways.  It hasn't seemed relevant to bring up the "I don't feel ready to date" topic.  I do realize I need to keep it to MY PART in the matter and not blame him for being a superficial guy.