I went to the hot springs today and soaked in a mineral bath and used the mud body mask and baked in the sun a little. It was nice. The grounds are surrounded by lush greenery and palm trees. I like the place I have lunch at down there, next to a little man made pond with a fountain, and wrought iron tables and chairs. I'm pretty much 80% vegetarian (if that counts) - I eat meat maybe once a week or so. I had a veggie burger for lunch and at dinner I had a turkey burger - I get so hungry especially one week out of the month and that is now (I guess hormones do regulate hunger). I went to AA and it seems there is this one girl who I have seen "lead" a meeting more than anyone else at that particular place - she is popular and perky, and I am annoyed by her because of my own jealousy issues. I don't know, I tend to think she is a bit overly confident and I tend to be usually humble, so she kinda rubs me the wrong way. A few years ago a guy who was asking me out and flaking ended up holding hands with her one time when I met her, and later he asked me out again, and I was shocked. (I'm grateful that opportunity never presented itself - Thank God I didn't go out with someone who flaked on our plans repeatedly.) So my issue with her was started right away, as in "comparison" to myself. Then about a year ago when I got introduced to her by a mutual friend, who ran over to me at a meeting when I was there with my ex, and introduced me as "this is _'s girlfriend" (H I N T) and she calls me "lucky girl", anyway I was just not into that, and then to see my ex and her in conversation, I was like "don't stop talking on my account" when I walked up and they just stopped in mid sentence, and I walked away. (What do I expect as both she and my ex are a little slutty - oh well I have my own past, too, thankfully in my past.) I realize I need to do my step 6 & 7 and pray for God to remove my jealousy and replace it with generosity or some other spiritually fit opposite, and maybe even address the envy and pray for God to remove it and replace it with gratitude or something. Anyway I have come a ways as far as jealousy. I just know being with my ex who was a womanizer did not help the issue, and it did not help that he "got around" or gets around especially with the women in the AA program, when it is so hard for me to make friends and women are the minority there, and it sort of "eliminates" the possibility of friendship with any of the girls in his past, because of this issue I seem to carry - besides, I think I'd pretty much feel annoyed by her even if it wasn't for these issues we share in common (available to the same men). I'm not really drawn to his exes, anyway. I seem to see what my ex and this girl have in common with him that self grandiosity (I'm a great person) in public that sort of to me is like (roll my eyes). I hated that about my ex because the way he treated me and the way he at times pumped his image up in public were so incongruent, and hurtful. And I told him about it, which pissed him off terribly - I was like with his buddhism and his lack of compassion for me and his saying how he is such a nice guy and couldn't say "please or thank you" to me but ordered me around, it was just really painful. I did some organizing of old papers, which felt good. I mean really good - chipping away at the mountain, piles of papers. I think I can add a little to "get organized" goal - if there were 1% options I'd be choosing those.
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The spa sounds great. I keep telling myself I\'m going to give myself a day of soaks and massages--but that day never comes around....I need to work on that...lol
But hey, seriously, it sounds like you don\'t like this girl--as in not jealous of her--but that you just don\'t like her. And that\'s okay.
There is probably part of you that does envy how much in common she has with your ex--that makes them \'kindred spirits.\' But if all she\'s got going for her is her likeness with your slutty unabashed X, then that\'s probably enough of a reason to not like her!
You are the upstanding here--be proud of that. Embrace your modesty. Blow off that show-off confidence.
These people are so busy trying to prove to the world what wonderful people they are, that they\'ve forgotten to actually BE that person. Why go to the trouble when blowing smoke up people\'s hoo-hahs works?
Everytime you see this chick, imagine that she has gonorrhea or crabs or something. B/c she probably will someday or has already anyway!! At least that way you won\'t have any trouble smiling when you see her!
I\'m glad to hear you\'re getting the r&r you need at the spa, what a great experience!
You don\'t have to like everyone, some people are just annoying. I laughed when I saw the commercial for Sunny in Philadelphia, the blonde goes up to another woman to ask her to hang out, and the other woman says, \"But I hate you.\" and the blonde says, \"Oh, I hate you too, that\'s what women do,\" it\'s funny and true.
I hate that lack of integrity when people embrace a certain philosophy, or think they do, in words, but don\'t apply it to their lives. I see that alot. Especially ones who work in \"health food\", they\'re the biggest smokers and drinkers. It\'s like they\'re in this contradiction, to me, anyway, but they always seem to have an answer for it so who knows. I\'m tired of people having answers for stuff they do that\'s hurtful.
I\'m glad you\'re taking care of yourself. Have a great day!