As I get through this psychology class and more into the "meat" of the subject, it is quite neat.  I see the prepared final they have for us and how it doesn't fairly represent the scope of the material in our text, and I wonder if teaching is something I'd like to continue maybe in a better institution (it's a career college and has it's shortcomings. Don't we all!) Funny I'm a big fan of New Life Ministries ( newlife.com ) and they are in need financially so I looked for the envelope to send them something, and found a letter I didn't know I had for some seasonal temp work in Novemember, so I sent off a fax that I'm available.  I sealed the newlife envelope with a letter and said I give knowing I may not have a job after next week, in faith, knowing God provides. So then the phone rings and it's my temp agency, who I haven't had contact with in 6 months, asking if I'm available for a position at a place they had me before (when I first found DS last year, as a matter of fact).  It could lead to permanent and starts after my job ends.  WOW.  (office work - dad is sort of scoffing at me but I said I have to live this life.  He was proud of me for teaching.  Counselor says to look at the source - he's a gambling addict, so what do I care about his approval.  It still hurts some)  So I reopen the envelope to write a "PS" in the letter and reseal it, and the phone rings.  It is another place where I do on call temp work who I haven't contacted in about 5 months, and she wants to refer me to someone for some temporary work there at the local private college. WOW.  So I reopened the letter again to write a "PPS" about the developments and just be grateful. I feel a little under the weather.  I've enjoyed my noon meetings and am trying to go all I can.  I've been having coffee versus a real lunch, odd for me.  I don't know if my schedule will change and I won't be able to attend the noon meetings.  I got a little crush on a new guy.  He's from the area and just moved back from out of state.  I had a feeling right away and funny enough the more I know him the more I can see why I had that feeling, and how surprized I am.  Anyway go S-L-O-W. Anyway the "it's calleda  breakup because it's broken" book said to get a couple pictures, best & worse, of the ex to paste on a notebook to write about what I'll miss and won't or something.  I had to stop there last night and pause, and today I printed out the photos.  WILLINGNESS.  It is hard going through this breakup, and to think it started over a year ago and I'd asked him to leave me alone... this time I mean it and he is leaving me alone for now - I just have to keep deleting his messages if he does contact me because it is too hard and it's like ripping off the delicate scab as I heal. Looks like an easy day at school as most students will be at the local fair on a fieldtrip, and the rest of us will watch a movie, so I don't have lesson plans to do.  Funny my sis works there and I got a call from her yesterday that woke me up asking if I could sub an unfamiliar class for a sick teacher - NO - I need to learn how to say no.  I said I'm not that flexible with subbing for classes I'm not familiar with. Got a big bag of clothes to donate.  I'm growing out of some of them.  Change is good.  Sigh

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Very positive and uplifting journal. I think your attitude is so wonderful! You CAN and WILL do this. The old and comfortable is so easy to fall back into. Comfortable does not necessarily equate good for us. It is comfortable because it is familiar and a habit we have. Change is always a bit scary. It means breaking out of our mold and venturing off into unknown territory. If we can harness that fear and anxiety, it can be quite productive and encouraging. At least that is what I\'m learning on my path right now!

Hugs to you! So proud of you!!!!

Amanda
deleted_user
deleted_user

Change is good-I should think about donating some of my old stuff. Teaching is a great profession-my Dad taught college for years and loved it. Sounds like you are having a good time doing it. I LOVE psychology and am fascinated by human behavior. At one point I was a psych major, but then changed it to English. That is great news about the temp wprk hope it works out in your favor! Thanks for being a friend. God bless :0)
deleted_user
deleted_user

I dated a guy that took me YEARS to get over, but I was madly in love and didn\'t think I could \'survive\' without him. Every day gets easier though, and one day you wake up and realize that you don\'t think about him anymore. :) You\'re taking all the right steps to get there. If I\'d cut off contact and preceded with recovery instead of dragging it out, it probably wouldn\'t have taken me years to get over. You\'re doing wonderful! ((hugs))
deleted_user
deleted_user

Keep on staying strong, good for you, to read that book, and delete the exs messages. It is amazing, the sway and influences our dads have over us, so unfair! My grandma used to say \"consider the source\" she also said, \"a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still\"
doing Great! out with old .........