I felt optimistic today.  The book on "It's called a breakup because it's broken" (Greg Behrendt) is really hitting home, and I see how in the last 3 months, the first two months I did not respond to the ex, the last month I started responding - and all this was hard, especially when I responded, because he never left me alone as I asked (until the last week finally - this will allow me to heal). I got up early and walked dog and did laundry.  I went to the coffee shop as I felt tired, and I do enjoy caffeine and when I am tired enough to handle it (without common anxiety).  I went to noon AA and I got to lead - share my experience, strength and hope for about 15 minutes and open up for topic discussion - I chose HOW - Honesty, Openmindedness, and Willingness (this is HOW we work the 12 steps).  It was neat to share.  It was neat to have people come up to me - I had the first women ask me for a # -I've been attending that meeting for a year!! She said there aren't a lot of women around there - then a male aquaintance started talking to me and she seemed real uncomfortable and left - I'd said I am fortunate to be comfortable around men.  This particular day there were 5 women from over 30 people total.  Anyway it is always good to have a story to tell and a way to tell it positively, to feel part of the group and inspire and share gratitude. I heard from "sponsee" - anyway it was neat to get out of my own "stuff" and into the solution and give some direction :)  So neat we used to drink together in high school, now this. WOW. I got to teach chapter on Stress in Psychology class today.  I was especially excited.  Over a year before I got the job, part of the interview process was to do a presentation - and I used this chapter in the book.  The boss responded to my request for "constructive feedback" at my presentation- "that would have put our students to sleep" (I think they even cut me short).  Anyway I bawled and called my sponsor - but a computer lab position opened up part time temporary a year later, and they called me, which lead to teaching.... and next class session they said they don't need me, but it's subject to change (low student #s now).  I'm ok with it though a little uncomfortable with it - they are not perfect (niether am I).  I showed a movie on Meditation I was excited about - I emphasized constructive ways to cope with stress and I love that sort of slant in psychology - it is neat to teach something I care about.  What a good feeling - actually it's a dream come true since my degree is in psych. So I am told I can attend faculty meetings at work (about once every other week), sub, and look in on classes - my ego wants to say "F you, you don't need me, I won't need you" and my lazy side says "forget it", and my optimistic side says "maybe I'll be too busy with a temporary job" (I have yet to look into anything - I'll call the agency I use, they're pretty good - hopefully). My humble side says "take the hours and experience".  I felt sort of judged to not be given a class, treated unfairly. I'm trying to accept it rather than CHANGE it - they are really unorganized and have neglected giving me what were supposed to be 2 reviews by now - I NEED to speak up (Oh well) and let go of THEIR part. Picked up the kids - niece and nephew - on the way home, and hit all green lights on the way (peculiar - synchronicity - I was doing the right thing).  We had fun watching Greek home movies my mom took on their trip they just returned from. Next week is the last week of class. My area has nearly 9% unemployment rate - I try to look at it as 91% employed - that seems more optimistic. :)  And they may end up having an independent study for me or something. Need to be here now.  Louise Hay movie "You can heal your life" is something I need to study.  I had the book years ago and felt so sad Mom gave it away - it belonged to her mom... Now the movie is creating a craze - good thing. It is so profound.