No ice cream tonight, after about a week of either ice cream or cookies nightly - a lot of it.  Funny the local ice cream place is closing down tonite (rent increase). Ex is still persistently calling and leaving messages.  Don't have to worry about checking texts - removed that feature.  Who knows if he's sending those.  He is calling a lot.  I finally ERASED his messages without having listened to them - I've NEVER erased anyones messages without listening to them.  In reading journal from last year, I see the abuse and how awful it was - all verbal and emotional and all painful. Counseling tomorrow. I am feeling stressed about schedule.  Class prep takes more time than it seems I have, and now I'm helping out the English teacher by basically doing teacher's aid stuff, so I will get paid more hours. Something bugged me as some other teachers are taking a field trip with my students who are in their class, and I'd rather not go, and I feel some pressure and inconvenience, as it will throw off my lesson plan.   The way things are around there, as soon as I get used to something, it changes.  This is God's way of reminding me HE is in control. Funny Mr New just completely ignores me now, which is ok, but hurts a little.  I don't know why, even though I can't be bothered - maybe that vibe rubbed off on him? Parents will be back in a week. I've gotten used to having place to myself.  Losing computer access is probably the biggest inconvenience as Dad is addicted to it (it's his).

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Sounds like your on the right track...& change can sometimes be painful but well worth it in the end! I hope you have a good day....rememeber you only have to worry about today!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have been eating alot of ice cream lately too-I guess it is a way of dealing with stress. You are probably better off not even listening to your ex\'s phone messages-good for you for erasing them!I enjoyed being in the house alone without my mom this summer. Now we are back together in house and trying to learn to cope with one another-can be difficult soemtimes. When I want to be alone, I go out walking.Hope the counseling helps with your stress. God bless!:0)