Little work frustrations as dealing with a boss and a supervisor who make mistakes that affect us - who doesn't?  It helps when I remember from my recovery program about how we who recover from alcoholism and addiction (me) suffer from self centeredness - I try to look at their side and feel I can let it go. So I got asked to do another independent study for two students for math, in addition to being a sort of aid or co teacher to English class.  I said yes to the English yesterday, and no to the math today because it is just TOO much.  I already have psych class which is going WELL.  I told the boss one class at a time is enough for me as I am new and the preparation is extensive.  Good for me for saying no - that is big for me.  I was like "no no no!!!" inside, so I said it.  I think they need to hire some more people and it is not up to me.  It is so ok for me to say no, and I don't want to have them rely on me to "save the day" - growth for me :)  It is already an extremely challenging though gratifying job. I get to sub for the English class tomorrow and I am disliking the last minute "can you do this" when it is so unnecessary - so I am hoping I will be prepared (let's turn this over to God now......)  I am having work stress as a result of  being asked to do more than I was originally asked and as usual it is interrupting my enjoyment of what I am doing.  Oh God I don't know if I can hang with this job for a year, 1/2 way through .... that is my goal :) I am so grateful to be plugged into some women's meetings now.  It is so helpful. I got some great feedback about Mr New - agreement that I see a huge "red flag" I talked about - do not procede with more than friendship, and in my lonely and vulnerable state I ought to pull back on that, too.  Ok lets blurt it out.  At our one lunch, since we just take walks, I paid for mine, no big deal.  Ok I mentioned I left the tip because he didn't leave any, which bugged me.  Ok so I know his work is slow. I am growing tired of his attitude towards his son that he feels their relationship is about him being the wallet and he's tired of it.   So what happened, is he asked me to go get a yogurt.  So I was in the neighborhood and met him there. So he uses a coupon and orders and I ask if he's going to pay or if he wants me to pay for mine (they came to $3.75 for both).  Ok so trying not to be nit-picky, he said he'll get it, then  "take the Big Mac out of my son's mouth."   Anyway I wish I'd paid, but I said nothing.  It seems real passive aggressive and Ok, maybe money is that tight, but if so tell me, don't make me feel bad for accepting a $2 gift.  God.  Anyway the feedback I got at the meeting was very supportive of me.  I need to feel good about myself.  What he said didn't help.  I try to talk to him about his attitude about financial insecurity and trusting God, but it's out of my hands.  I can only change MY attitude. Parents are gone 1/2 their month vacation so far and I've done none of my "projects" on my list around the house.  I am maintaining me, not getting into trouble, not jumping into a relat or back into a sick one.   SIGH.  The ex took my inch and is wanting a mile. I replied to his contact and now it's like he's laying it on. He broke his arm.  He's like saying he'd give his arms to hug me and his eyes to see me and on and on and it's like - I smile, but it's not genuine. OK he's an addict and I'm like his 'fix' but the relationship is not and was not healthy.  I do see a glimpse of that person I loved.  Anyway I am grateful to be moving on if not perfectly at least, just for today, doing without what was and grieving the loss.   It was helpful to come here and see some stuff someone was going through that made me recall the hell I've put myself through being with him in the past.