I caved and returned my ex's call yesterday because I was defending myself - I don't hate him and I am not going around badmouthing him (he may be playing games).  Anyway he's pretty self destructive right now, and far from sober like when I met him, so I am grateful to be free from him though emotionally I'm still sort of affected.  His family member/friend who I usually talk to about it says it's none of his business, which is true.  Anyway I hope it may have been helpful for him to hear it from me that I don't hate him, but I don't want to deal with his hurtfulness and insanity. There's an annual MA campout at the beach and this is the first year I missed it - almost.  Thank God a couple friends decided to email me, because I am out of the loop - live further away than most and just not  going lately.  Maybe that will change soon, as I got my car fixed (yay) (for now - yet more to be done).  I went to the campout for the evening.  The beach was wonderful, the fellowship wonderful, the campfire meeting wonderful, the sharing right what I needed to hear, and the stars marvelous.  AAAhh..  It is  too long since I've been to something like that.  I shared and showed my face and enjoyed some company and truly related to the sharing.  I love AA but I am also a marijuana addict and I never would have gone to AA if it wasn't for my major problem with pot and MA so I am really pleased I showed up.  It was hard to leave.  I could have stayed, but I really had stuff to do today. I shopped for my niece's b-day (16) and her party was today.  My sis is reconnected with an old friend and her family, so it was weird to be part of unfamiliar people who are like her new family, they were nice, I guess it was just change for me.  I enjoyed shopping for her a lot. I went to a women's AA and a Big Book meeting and it felt really good.  It has been a long time since I've done more than one meeting in a day (once last week, but probably about a year before that).  I really need to be in a lot of meetings cause I  tend to isolate, and I get a lot out of them.  I saw the new guy yesterday at the meeting.  He is so sweet.  He has a cute girl roomate which brings up some of my insecurities/jealousies/trust issues, so I guess these issues are presented to me to WORK ON.