So today I went on a walk with this nice guy!  Wow, funny right when he was calling to confirm my ex was calling - I didn't pick up, of course. On the way to the trail, I waved down my ex's friend - a friend of mine too.  What a coincidence.  So we chatted and of course the topic of the ex came up and I started to share and vent and cry.  The ex just moved in with him.  When I met my ex I liked him but he's so unstable and not consistent. We walked and talked and it was nice, in the foothills. He pointed out 3 deer staring at us and following the path next to us - real neat.  He mentioned his ex is bipolar and so different from when they met, and I told him I understand what it is like to love someone with mental illness. He said he had compassion for her but doesn't want to get back together (divorced about 7 years).  I said I felt the same way about my last situation - that the mental health issues went along with the person and if they were not being addressed properly I didn't want to be involved in that.  Anyway so that is far as mentioning the ex has gotten - at least I got that out.. He seems like a real good guy.  Anyway I found out he's been sort of in the slumps because business is not doing well (I know a lot of people are really suffering).  So he said he's been isolating - a big thing for addicts and alcoholics.  So I said it's good he reached out and I'm glad he followed through on seeing me today, because I had an expectation and I would have been disappointed.  I wanted to know if it was a date or just friends but I didn't say anything.  He told me I seem real sweet and he enjoyed my company and I'm a really nice hugger. I find myself attracted and know I need to go slow. Good for me for taking it light and going past the "guilt" over the ex.  I told the ex's friend I was heading to my first date and I didn't want my ex to know - he said he wouldn't tell him.  I mean it's out of my hands.  I don't want him to hurt.  I am moving on.  He had started to accuse me of having cheated. Sucky, I never ever did cheat on him.  I'm sure this does not look good.  The counselor said he'd probably think I cheated anyway.  So.  I actually cried last night not having heard from the new guy about today yet, and related to the rejection my ex may feel, and I cried for him.  It is not healthy for me and whether or not he gets over the "love of his life" as he refered to me, true or not, it is his responsibility.  I told his friend i didn't know what was true or not.  He said just to not let anyone talk to me that way.  So I am doing ok but still a little sad for the ex and need to have loyalty for my feelings above his.  It doesn't seem right to be dating - if that is what it is - if the ex is suffering.  Not healthy thinking.  So my male friend said as guys they get so nervous.  I am not the type of girl to make a first move I am just normal I guess to have attraction and it will be interesting to bring it up.  Anyway it seemed like he didn't want to leave and we walked 1 1/2 hour and ended up taking for 2 more :).