There was a book I was set on buying before I got together with my ex, and then changed my mind, and finally bought it this weekend.  I really like the comedian/author Greg Behrendt and it's called "He's just not that into you" (something related to material on Sex and The City, on which he was a  consultant).  It's quite on the blunt side, but I like it.  Anyway, sure enough the night I bought it Mr. New called.  He asked if I want to get together Saturday for sushi and a walk.  I said "maybe" which I know sounds a little flakey - I am saying this because he has previously said he'd call on days he didn't.  So, we'll see.  Again it is only dinner, and I am excited because I love sushi and the ex and I never went for sushi because he didn't like it.  I need to speak up about the "saying he'll call and meaing his word" subject without acting wierd.  I'm feeling alarmed by the ex.  He's still texting and calling sporadically, and said the most sane thing so far - "I'm not dealing with this very well".  My heart goes out to him.  I'm grateful to have counseling tomorrow - I need to break that "hook" to try to console him.  I don't have to take this stuff personally, and it helps to know he generally doesn't deal with stuff well and that is my fault, and I no longer have to feel responsible. Work is kinda difficult.  I have lesson planning to do for an Economics and an Ethics class for an independent study student, and it is a bit overwhelming.  One kid in math is failing but showing promise.  Another girl is in danger of failing.  I can't let their desire for me to "cushion" their grades lead me to be dishonest in reporting the grades.  I guess I have that people pleasing tendency.  I just know for me honesty is a major issue and even considering being dishonest to protect someone who is not doing the work is a major no-no.  Sponsor reminds me to keep in mind that this job is like adding to my resume, in order to not feel so overwhelmed. Finally talked to sis today about her separation/pending divorce.  It is just sad and disappointing to hear some of the details, but better to have an understanding finally.  I hope the niece and nephew will be ok.  I have waited weeks for me to talk about it, and I'm grateful she has, and I know all I can do is keep them all in prayer.  Taking my car in for more repairs today - it didn't pass smog and we'll see if the money I'm putting into it is worth it (it's an 81).  Trying to surrender these things to God that are so weighing on me, so I can realize I need to let go. What's the worse that can happen?  I have to use the bus - and that is ok.