It was really wierd, how last weekend the old close friend I visited with was very close to my ex when they were children. Small world :) I continue to hear from him, and not respond. My counselor is very happy I have made some progress. So my ex has gotten into extreme tattoos and sent me a text that he is getting his face done. It is rather distressing. I mean, my good male friend reminds me how I need to not let his 'insanity' or 'drama' distract me from my life and owning my progress (as my conselor says). It is just hard to think of him ostrasizing himself in this way, but there is Nothing I can do about it. It was so hard to accept I was falling for someone with extreme tattoos, having none mysef. I know this is only his "shell" and symptomatic of other issues. I am just glad I don't have to be involved, and trying not to let this "get" to me. I am doing my monthly 3 day fruit and veggie fast and sometimes I include very low-sugar dark chocolate. I mean, it has all these antioxidants and stuff. I think I overdid it this time, and had a little bread, so I am not doing it perfectly. I tend to get a little bogged down and then feel lighter - I do think it is detoxifying. Today has been lonely for me. I think the sugar in the chocolate is higher than that I normally buy, and leading to some "sugar low" for me. Also, the two times I've talked to the "crush" in my life, he's said he'll call me tomorrow or the end of the week, and both times he hasn't. I don't do well with people not keeping their word. I picture him as a helium balloon, and me letting him go, and try to read my "Addiction to love" book and see my issues. I guess I have some emptiness and obsessive issues. Daily AA meetings have been good for me lately. Today I got to lead/be the first to share. It is good for me to share of myself and be of service, and let go of my ego and let myself be imperfect exactly as I am. I really enjoy the big book study meeting today and reading the stories in the book and sharing on them.
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it is strange to (stand back)and watch someone we once loved, continue on w/their life. and c them doing things like the x is doing. its like seeing it from the \"side lines\", huh? i DO kno what u mean there. but ur rite, u must NOT allow urself to get caught up in HIS chaos/drama. tho, i kno it can be hard @ x\'s. u are doing so well for urself these, u should be extremely proud! and i LOATHE when someone tells me they are going to call, come over or WHATEVER, and then NOT do it. its one of my BIGGEST peaves w/ppl in general. i mean, WHY do ppl even bother to say that they are \"going\" to do something, if they in fact ARENT?? dont kno that ill ever understand that one.
as for the fruit and veggie fast, id love to hear more about it. i sooo need to lay OFF the sugar!! since i quit drinking i have gained some weight. (tho, i refuse to allow myself to become obcessed w/it, the way i would have in the past). the sugar cravings i have are INSANE, and i have absolutely NO control over them either!!
well ive went on long enuf, i hope u have a wonderful Sunday. God bless~~~~
You\'ve just made clear sth that i hadn\'t really understood before: that ego getting in the way of just being imperfect me... It\'s really insightful and helpful. Thanks for sharing! I feel the same way you say about some people saying \"i\'ll call you\" and they don\'t, and they do that regularly; i think is good you\'re noticing it and commenting on it, because it\'s sth important to you and you should pay attention to the things you like and you don\'t like. Well, lots of hugs!