Saturday night was amazing.  The week before, an old friend who I happened to share my last drink with, started doing volunteer work where I do and I got to train him.  This week, he showed up with a very close friend I haven't seen in 12 years. It was so emotional for me.  This friend had invited me to come live up in the Bay area with him and my other friend, who I didn't yet know.  This was after college.  That first year, all I wanted to do was travel and I went here and there and tried moving a few times.  I had "wanderlust".  It was a really neat time of my life, and sharing time with those two friends again and reconnecting with my special friend left me in tears later that night :) I'd left a message for the new guy in my life who asked me to dinner.  I decided to go walk in the foothills at a wilderness park, and figured I'd invite him.  I just left a message, and went on as planned w/ doggie since he didn't reply. Later after volunteer work, I saw a text msg he'd invited me to sushi about an hour after my call - and the text didn't go through until hours later (sometimes happens), so I called again to explain, and again the following day to try to talk.  I mean, talk about some desperation there.  Thank God for my Love Addiction books (Susan Peabody's Addiction to Love and Stephen Arterburn When you love too much) helping me see a very very old issue for me more clearly.  So I was ok not to hear back from him and very much aware I have some work to do to not bring this issue so forcefully into my present. The following Monday I heard from him.  He said he wasn't trying to ignore me, I said I knew.  He said his phone hadn't rang, and someone suggested turning the power off, and when turned back on, he had 16 msgs! (cell). Anyway so much for perfection in cell-phone land. It was just neat we both sort of handled the issue well :)  I told him I'd wanted to invite him on the walk and asked if he liked that sort of thing, and he seemed happy I liked that sort of thing.  It was a half hour phone call, our second.  It's kind of fun to have a new friend I look up to and have interest in.  I was trying to  be positive about not having the date.  I feel so ready in someways and not so ready in others. I guess hearing from the ex all this threatening game playing stuff is hard.  I mean he said I'm his enemy and to stay away from him and I've done enough harm already, then says he hopes I'm doing ok. He also said to keep my guys away from him.  I understand he's trying to push my buttons.  I cried about it and reached out to his relative/friend who understands the guy is antisocial, and my good male friend I had the 4 hour conversation with a few weeks ago, who has tremendous insight into the issue.  SIGH.  I keep him in prayer and avoid gettting engaged in communication.  He asked me to atleast acknowlege I heard him - I didn't.  It is hard. I get to see counselor today for the first time in about 2 months.  I'm excited.  I want to talk about these issues. Well it is good to be alive.  My class kids are doing overall great and I feel blessed to be their math teacher.  Final is in one week, then I will supposedly get an independent study student instead of a class, with similar though less hours.  I still don't know for what class :)  Trying to be patient and grateful here.  They also want me to travel the 4 hours each way or so distance to new faculty training at the end of the next class session so I can continue to teach there, because they "forgot" to include me at the local one 5 weeks ago. It is a paid trip.  If only I could find a cooling fan for the car, it is running way too hot, otherwise I love driving it.  Been getting some repairs lately and it feels good to be able to care for my car and myself.