Yesterday I went to my old home group meeting where I went before and during my relationship with my ex, and stopped going regularly around the time I came here to DS in October, when our relationship was doing poorly.  He was there.  I had been seated, I stayed, I didn't leave, and I shared.  What growth! (see previous journal entry - I had just that day written about considering such a scenario).  Anyway it has brought up some stuff since he spent that day (yesterday) trying to call me.  I didn't take his calls.  I did notice him come up to me and waited and he said "that was hard", and walked away.  Anyway he did text me and say it really shook him up and he has so much to say but it doesn't matter and he's so empty and so so so sorry - sorry for what I am not sure.  Anyway it has  brought up A LOT of anger in me I suppose, but I handled it well... I didn't vent about his lie I know about.  I shut up.  I even shared on happiness - my sponsor would say I'm showing recovery. :)  He did leave a message to get a TB test - I already know that.  And he gave his out of state speed using sis my # - who I've never met, trying to contact me about his TB.  It's so wierd.  I know he has it and wants me to get a test. I know he'd had it for a long time - I guess I never put 2 and 2 together that is what is wrong with his lungs.  I understand a positive test does not mean TB is active, that a chest x-ray would be necessary.  I am processing this news.  I go through my God Box and see "resoved" issues I've placed in there a year ago, and it feels good.  It is a good way to "let go" or worries and fears and resentments.  Feeling a little cold symptoms, but went to AA anyway, and enjoyed it, and it is proactive for me because I need to guard against loneliness and isolation.  I also know when I crave attention from the man I am interested in, I need to do some work on my relationship obsession and do some reading or writing or thinking about what stage of the obsession I am in - it seems to help.  I don't want to act out of my dysfunction I've grown so accustom to. At AA, I had a couple people ask about the ex, of course.  It is wierd to think about dating and have people still associate me with someone who I feel such extreme distance from.  I guess it is going to happen, and as long as I share in truth with this new man, I guess that is all I can do.  A little lonely and knowing I need to work on this and not expect someone else to fix it. It does feel good to feel resolved with the ex and say, no I am not seeing him any longer. I have a counseling appointment next week. It has been a month, on her suggestion, though I took the break at the time it worked for me, not when she suggested.  I understand better now why she didn't think she was helping me if I stayed in the relationship.  It was so bad for so long.  It could have been longer.