So last night I went to a meeting and saw this man I kinda like (who I hadn't seen in a month and just wrote about in yesterdays journal here!).  I talked to him.  I'd realized a month ago when we finally talked that I was vulnerable, and told my ex that exact truth.  So after talking a while this man asked if I'd like to get together sometime and go to dinner.  I found myself saying "SURE". and we exchanged #'s. I talked to a good friend this weekend and it was nice.  She suggested I can say "now is not a good time" if I feel I am not ready.  That sounds good.  I mean I do need to get used to being alone before I start dating.  I understand now an old friend I dated who was freshly separated, and how he's said he felt like he'd already been waiting for so long while he was in the relationship to have a real connection with someone. So I am all excited and happy and very nervous.  Anyway God's timing is what it is, and all I need to be is honest.  I tend toward relationship obsession so I've pulled out my "when you love too much/addicted to love" book by Stephen Arterburn who I love, and I NEED to answer all the detailed questions in the back.  I have hope there. I am really just blown away.  He has a lot of good qualities that were sorely lacking and not being developed in the ex.  It's been so long since I went on a date, since my ex and I were friends that didn't really date first, we just started developing feelings.  Anyway I don't know if I am ready, but I sure am happy a connection is being formed with a good guy (he is about 8 years older than me and has been sober 21 years, since he was 24. WOW) Fourth of July was amazing.  I live near a school with fire works. I walked the dog and the streets were packed with spectators.  It was so exciting.  There was even a live band up the street.  It feels good to have my "independence" and be excited about life. I decided to walk to my friends and it was lovely to have a chat with her about what is going on, and feels so good to have someone like her interested in me and what I am going through, and vice versa.  I could see fireworks from my bedroom window and I felt peace this year.  Last year on the 4th it was a major fight with the ex and the week of our first break up.  This year I got asked out and by saying yes I know I am truly FREE from that relationship, in many ways. Tonight was amazing.  A very special old friend is starting to do volunteer work where I do.  He is the friend I had my last drink yet, and I haven't really hung out with him since, 3 1/2 years ago.  He doesn't know how bad my addiction got for me and that I got sober.  I don't know if he's understand.  The only time I saw him since my last drink was when I stopped by w/ my ex because I found out they grew up together.  It was amazing to feel the bond of friendship remain after years, since I've known him over ten.  I felt emotional about it.  I had such a respect and love for this friend and it was meaningful to me that our lives are still intertwined somehow. I'm really emotional tonight. (That time of month probably a factor) Saturday nights are hard for me.  I finish my volunteer work and notoriously feel lonely.  I am grateful I have computer access to come here.  I think my life has changed so much.  I got a text from the ex, which doesn't help.  At least I am not returning to him.  I need to do some really nice yoga and get some endorphins going.