So last night I went to a meeting and saw this man I kinda like (who I hadn't seen in a month and just wrote about in yesterdays journal here!). I talked to him. I'd realized a month ago when we finally talked that I was vulnerable, and told my ex that exact truth. So after talking a while this man asked if I'd like to get together sometime and go to dinner. I found myself saying "SURE". and we exchanged #'s. I talked to a good friend this weekend and it was nice. She suggested I can say "now is not a good time" if I feel I am not ready. That sounds good. I mean I do need to get used to being alone before I start dating. I understand now an old friend I dated who was freshly separated, and how he's said he felt like he'd already been waiting for so long while he was in the relationship to have a real connection with someone. So I am all excited and happy and very nervous. Anyway God's timing is what it is, and all I need to be is honest. I tend toward relationship obsession so I've pulled out my "when you love too much/addicted to love" book by Stephen Arterburn who I love, and I NEED to answer all the detailed questions in the back. I have hope there. I am really just blown away. He has a lot of good qualities that were sorely lacking and not being developed in the ex. It's been so long since I went on a date, since my ex and I were friends that didn't really date first, we just started developing feelings. Anyway I don't know if I am ready, but I sure am happy a connection is being formed with a good guy (he is about 8 years older than me and has been sober 21 years, since he was 24. WOW) Fourth of July was amazing. I live near a school with fire works. I walked the dog and the streets were packed with spectators. It was so exciting. There was even a live band up the street. It feels good to have my "independence" and be excited about life. I decided to walk to my friends and it was lovely to have a chat with her about what is going on, and feels so good to have someone like her interested in me and what I am going through, and vice versa. I could see fireworks from my bedroom window and I felt peace this year. Last year on the 4th it was a major fight with the ex and the week of our first break up. This year I got asked out and by saying yes I know I am truly FREE from that relationship, in many ways. Tonight was amazing. A very special old friend is starting to do volunteer work where I do. He is the friend I had my last drink yet, and I haven't really hung out with him since, 3 1/2 years ago. He doesn't know how bad my addiction got for me and that I got sober. I don't know if he's understand. The only time I saw him since my last drink was when I stopped by w/ my ex because I found out they grew up together. It was amazing to feel the bond of friendship remain after years, since I've known him over ten. I felt emotional about it. I had such a respect and love for this friend and it was meaningful to me that our lives are still intertwined somehow. I'm really emotional tonight. (That time of month probably a factor) Saturday nights are hard for me. I finish my volunteer work and notoriously feel lonely. I am grateful I have computer access to come here. I think my life has changed so much. I got a text from the ex, which doesn't help. At least I am not returning to him. I need to do some really nice yoga and get some endorphins going.
Replies
Yay! you let that other guy go...and now another opportunity has come into your life, I hope he treats you like a princess!
I get obsessive about relationships too, and far too early. Just try to take it slow and be patient.
I know what you mean about Saturday nights.. lastnight was hard for me and today is not much better as I have a viral cold and I\'m avoiding the cold air. So I have the means to go but Im stuck indoors! I\'m in danger of going nuts. Like you I am so thankful for this site. Its winter where I am.(As we both know, its a day at a time and for me this too shall pass).
Take Care and best wishes on your date.
whatta great journal. im soo happy to hear that u are doing so well. (and u are!) cant wait to heat more about \"the date\" if u do in fact go. u deserve so much more than what ur obviously used to from a man. so dont sell urself short, ya hear? God bless~~~
I am glad that you had a great weekend, sounds like a LOT of positive experiences, and you can really see the results, from choosing the right path. I wonder if you could change your cell phone #? and get rid of the texts ... what a pain, though. It is a great feeling, to be free of him, I can really tell, in this entry, how free and light, you sound! I hope that the new guy is also a positive, and that you can keep up your boundaries, and have good experiences. Keep us posted! xoxo Chels
It seems to me like you are really living life! Things are getting exciting, aren\'t they? Being honest is the \"guide\" you must follow and it will take you to safe port in any situation. Congrats!!!
This is a great journal-you sound happy and full of hope! Good luck with the new relationship-take it slow, and enjoy your friendship with him! Glad you felt some peace-you deserve it! God bless:0)