Well I made it through yesterday, ex's birthday.  I did drop him off some juice and gave him what he said he wanted for his birthday - a hug.  And I did my day.  I went to a new Al Anon meeting and shared about realizing I need to start doing some work in that program.  It has been hard to have counselor tell me she thinks I am stuck and need to take a break from counseling if I don't make a decision to stay away from the relationship in the next month.  I do not entirely agree or disagree with her.  And my sponsor referred me to Al Anon because of the ex, so trying to explain stuff to her, I certainly don't feel understood - she doesn't get the abusive relationship stuff or the love addiction stuff I struggle with, and find understanding in DS - Thank God. I went to a gym belly dance class last night - what a great new habit to pick up.  Sponsor suggested a dance class - because I said I'm noticing my body getting bigger, and I used to work as a dancer (my old career), so I am hoping I can get my body moving.  I did walk today when I didn't "feel" like it - and it was great, and I am glad I did. Poor mom is dealing with her sis w/ cancer, getting worse, and dealing with the helplessness, frustration, powerlessness, upset.  It is hard to watch.  Aunt called ambulance instead of hospice in her confusion, so ended up in a hospital, and hospice dropped her.  She is not getting the best care, and we're not sure what is next for her.  It is heartbreaking to think of her suffering.  She is a dear, honest, super spiritual women who sees her angels, very faithful and fragile. I went to see "Sex and the City" movie today.  I had gotten stuck on viewing all the episodes years past, as an escapist pastime.  I was looking forward to it.  I suprized myself by crying at a scene with a gesture of forgiveness in an imperfect relationship.  I went alone, and it felt so good, instead of dragging mom or ex along, who aren't fans of the show, when I knew I'd enjoy it more without worrying about them enjoying it.  That has been my attitude in adulthood - happily overly independent (at times).