I called the ex and we argued, and I didnt' know dad could hear (he's hard of hearing) and dad yelled at me and said he didn't want to hear it.  Humiliation, embarassment, another wake up call just how this relationship is causing some uncomfortable consequences to me.  If I stay my counselor wants a break?  And the communication is so upsetting, that I am embarassed to be part of it. I took a traffic school certificate to turn into the court, and read the ticket FAILURE TO OBEY POSTED SIGNS It felt like what I needed to read to make sense of this situation. SIGH.  It's his bday. I have stuff to do for me.  I could try a new Al Anon, go to AA, go to the gym, or go to the mineral springs, or I could go see him.  I am leaning towards leaving the phone off, and feeling that guilt.  He forgot my birthday in December, and it did NOT go well, so am I supposed to be this saint who is perfect and selfless and looking out for him, but leaving me in harms way? Thing is I explain everything to him and sometimes he says he gets it, and his counselor says he's just saying that, and I find sometimes she may be right.