The comments on my journal really touch me. Thank you. I submitted a copy of the interview I did with Dick the AA oldtimer (59 years sober in less than a month) in the Alcholism discussion group. I saw him yesterday at the oldtimers meeting, he had the most time of all the oldtimers who have 30+ years of sobriety. There were 3 guys with 50+ years! So he asked when I'll be back at the meeting since he is part of my "home group" I no longer attend regularly because that is where I met my ex and even though he doesn't attend anymore it is just too hard to get the comments and questions. So I went today. I saw Dick and he asked about the ex and I said I just saw him yesterday and that we've been off and on. He misses him. He tells me it will end up one way or the other and not to worry about it. So I did spend some time with him and Sunday was nice. He'd never had a massage so we went in the hot tub and then for Thai massages. Yesterday he had a melt down and I was so upset he just doesn't get common courtesy and I know he means well it is just basically.... If I have him in my life there is going to be drama, chaos, insanity... It is MY choice.
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I hear ya! I had to make the choice, too. I had to choose between drama, chaos, and insanity, which can be Fun in its own, not-so-healthy type way! I thought it beat boredom. I had to choose peace, because I felt like I was going to die. Well, besides the fact that he almost murdered me. I think it would be harder , it would have been harder if he hadn\'t hit me. But it wasn\'t the physical stuff that drove me away forever. You never know what your final straw is going to be until it cracks your back. LOVE to you my friend! xoxoxo Chels