I cried this morning.  It felt good to get out the frustration.  An accumulation of little things... set off by canceling my counseling appointment tomorrow.  The bus is not convenient for that location that I can figure out.  My car is in the shop and the part that needs repair hasn't yet been located (it's an 81 Porsche).  So my ex is getting involved since he has helped with last car (rebuilt engine w/ his step dad) so he is calling the mechanic and trying to figure out if they can rebuild the part.  Wow. So much went on with the ex last week.  He'd offered to buy me a car when he got government money for not being able to work due to mental health disability, and I finally told him I thought the money was gained dishonestly because he works under the table and I didn't want it.  He was getting $35 grand and he went to court and told them he wanted out of the deal, and gave up the money, because he thought about what I said. I know I need to do things that are esteemable to feel better about myself, and that is all I was trying to do.  He is so sick and really is not able to work now.  I don't know.  I just know everything leaves a lesson to be learned, and God can turn everything into good. I am needing patience... to deal with the bus, flakey coworkers, unprofessional working conditions or should I say imperfect, deal with a gambling addict dad and a overwhelmed mom, an aunt with cancer who needs caretaking and mom doesn't know how to handle it, I need patience to do the best with what I have been given today.