Today I kept busy despite the invite from the ex.  I talked to him yesterday and it just leads to frustration.  I did stuff for me... washed car, AA meeting where I got to lead (start sharing), bought some stuff for mom and me, washed sheets, rested, did volunteer work, walked the doggie and visited a friend who lives walking distance, which is good.  I mean when I get my intimacy and friendship and social needs met, I am less lonely for the ex.  This is a major issue for me.  There is still tonight.  Saturday nights tend to be a bit lonely after my volunteer work.  Last Saturday night I went over to see him.  I realize I could deal with this as the steps - I am sort of powerless over him.  I guess I am a relationship addict.  I could pull out my books and take care of me. Even choosing to go home and make myself lunch is progress.  I tended to go out to eat with him.  He is sick.  It is another hook - brings out caretaker in me.  It is so frustating.  I recommended something from the store and he says the cashier had never heard of it at the store I told him about, and they have it.  Like I said, frustation.  He recommended we go use the hot tub because we tend not to argue there.  I don't think he gets there are issues.  I am so tired of dealing with this.  Anyway maybe when I refrain from giving into the pull I will gain some strength to stay away.