I asked Mom to come get a Thai massage with me.  I was ready for another one already and wanted to treat her.  She is going through so much with her sis w/ cancer and my cousin the addict alcoholic being a drain on my aunt. Mom said no to the massage, then changed her mind.  I was glad.  We got our Thai massages in the big city and I pointed out a couple spots since I used to live there.  Anyway, she enjoyed it.  So did I!  I hadn't realized how much I needed it.  There was a short time years ago when I got weekly massage.  It had only been a week since my last massage!  Anyway, she told me I don't have to give her a mother's day present.  How sweet.  I guess that's recovery for you, having time for mom and money to spend on her.  All my good intentions for so many years and only lately am I able to really be of much help.  And I could have both my jobs end in two weeks.  I just HAVE to trust God, God provided the job and I need to focus on just for today.  She is starting to rely on the money I am giving her since her own business is slowing down.  I am behind in rent and she doesn't keep track but I do!  So I have been making up for some of it lately, and may give her a big lump next week, and trust God will provide for tomorrow as God has provided for today. Aunt wants cousin (her son) to leave.  Social worker nor police could make him leave legally.  It is a shame.  My other aunt is visiting her from out of state this weekend and mom was there yesterday and the visiting is definitley superseded by the mess he is. He asked for prayer last I talked to him.  I know all are stressed dealing with his insanity.  He looks like a crack addict, all filthy and toothless and only 39.  And he is trying to be a caretaker to his mom!  He was my closest cousin out of he and 3 other boys, and I have wonderful childhood memories of us together.  It is a shame. He is only 2 years older than me, and he is truly intelligent.  Drugs and alcohol and addiction have really torn him up.  It is hard to see. I havent' seen ex all week.  I got off work Friday night and felt pulled in multiple directions.   I am struggling with a bit of workaholism.  I didn't know what to do with free time.  I shopped a little, did laundry, walked doggie, took a bath, made some food and watched TV, and did yoga. that's what I need to do for myself! I am still clean and sober, over 3 years now!  Thank God!  It is truly amazing.