Let me tell you the sunset picture on my profile is a view from my parents home in Baja, CA Mexico. I am fortunate to have been able to spend some time there every now and then. It's been over a year. So seeing the picture is a virtual mini vacation for me! I need all I can get now w/ this schedule! So let me tell you the view from the upstairs patio there is truly my favorite place to hang out. I am fortunate to have access to it... when will I find time and resourses to go again? They bought it as a 2nd home years ago and hardly use the place, shame. I like going down there and walking on the beach and going into town for fish tacos and just sight seeing in Rosarito. I felt awful for the downstairs neighbor when they built a taller building in front of us so they lost their view.... Mom let her vision take her to choose that place and it is truly awesome. Yesterday I got a message from my ex that he has been trying to contact me and to please call him. Even though I said I wouldn't return his calls anymore, I did. He has been in bed the last week and unable to eat and is coughing up and eliminating blood. Since the doctors told him he had lesions on his lungs nearly 3 months ago he has not been back to the doctor. So he may have cancer. I thanked him for letting me know he's sick. He apologized for not being nice the last time we talked. I cried some after the call. After work when I finished my yoga after a long day I cried hard. There are alot of feelings... loss, anger, fear, disappointment. I mean there is love between us, the abuse and dysfunction just screw it all up. Giving and receiving love is so difficult for addicts and alcoholics like me sometimes, or people in general. Anyway I have a lot to think about with life and holding grudges and making choices and where I spend my energy. I told him he makes it hard for me to be there for him when he's mean. I am busy working pretty much all the time, and should have some break for a few days starting tomorrow, though I may have some stuff to do w/ my aunts. I am not sure what I am going to do about the ex. My caretaker side wants to be there for him, and we do love eachother. So! I pray and surrender and do what I need to do for me, best as I can. I am enjoying my 2 jobs. I am doing temp work at a college radio station where I volunteer. I have worked here off and on over 3 years. A benefit of volunteering - I got work! I get to review music and prerecord live music shows and do other stuff. At my night job at another college at the learning lab I help students log on computer programs and take assessment tests and stuff. There has been some confusion wth the log in so I am not always in a position to "fix" it. Oh well! It is good for my self esteem to realize I have some skills to use to help people. I am realizing w/ the ex how much there is a "pull" on me and how I tend to "give in" to relieve the feeling of being pulled, instead of let go and Let God!!!!!!!!!!!
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I just want to reiterate so you don\'t feel \"judged\", everyone who has compassion is able to feel what you\'re going through, in regards to the ex. I know it is hard. If I was you I\'d take some time today to write a list of what YOU want. Do you want to have a baby? (they aren\'t for everybody). Write a list of the traits of a man you want in your life. Imagine yourself in 5 years if you took care of your bf and he had cancer and he had a slow painful decline. In 5 years you will be ___ yrs old and then what have you done for yourself and your life. If you feel very good and strong about this decision then you\'ve followed your heart and your love and did the right thing. If you feel regret for dreams lost, there is a cost for dreams lost. I learned that in my Appraisal class, that there is a cost for a missed opportunity, or a missed investment. Prospective investors take these things in to account. These are just some tools I hope are helpful in your decision making process.
Love to you my friend! -Chels xoxo
I liked the helping out part ! Also if you need someone to come to Mexico with you , I\'m in !