Thanks for the feedback on my journals.  I haven't been able to be online much and I miss being in closer touch. Little things started to get to me today.  I see on Myspace since my ex is still one of my friends (I never look at his page) now some of our mutual friends, or should I say his friends are requesting myspace "friendship" and I accept, but it is just harder to move on.  I am staying away from the meeting we attended mutually just to avoid his friends even though they were mine to some lesser degree, to move on.  So it seems to be defeating the purpose.  I do have few friends I am in touch with regularly and when things start to bother me it really is noticeable, especially when I reach out and it doesn't go so well.  I just started to cry tonight.  I am tired of being busy and being around busy people who have adapted.  I don't want to adapt to being stretched too thin. Today I went w/ mom for emotional support to visit her sis, my aunt who is living with cancer (and dying of it) and getting hospice care as of this week.  There was a meeting with the hospice nurse.  The thing is my cousin is an active alcoholic and he is the one giving her meds and there for her living w/ her and he is so out of it and his care is questionable to say the least.  He's just not capable and no one else is able to step up at this very point.  I would if I weren't working.  Mom and Dad are leaving for vacation for a week w/ aunt's approval.  When they come back she may come to be w/ us (she is about 60 miles away).  It must have been hard for me to see the cousin I was closest to (out of 4 boys they are all addict alcoholic) be so much worse off than the last time I saw him when his dad died 3 years ago.  Addiction, alcoholism.  He looks like a homeless person literally and he was so bright. My other cousin was there too and he is in recovery sober nearly 2 years, that is a blessing.  Sigh. Birthday party for the nephew today and I think for me being around family can be stressful.  I missed my normal meeting today for the events of the day and that is ok I just need to be in more meetings and working overtime during the week is just taking my time.  I am working an easier schedule so I am getting a lot more sleep which is good.  Sigh.  I had to leave the bbq early before food to come do volunteer work tonight.  I cried.  I didn't want to eat before everyone else.  I am also preferring vegetarian so literally I didn't have to wait for meat to be cooked but I didn't want to eat before everyone because of self consciousness.  Well I did get to go bowling w/ sis and parents and nephew and his friends and that was a lot of fun and a little exercise. I could go back to aunts tomorrow.  I need some "me time".  I haven't been to the gym in over a week.  I need a meeting tomorrow.  I have been walking daily. I drive by the ex's work almost every day on my way to work and I never look in the window.  I'm getting rather pist about the myspace thing, it is just silly.  His daughter started his profile page for him he doesn't even use it as far as I know.  It is not helping me move on having his friends "befriend" me there because nobody knows the horror I have been through with him and I'm not about to tell them.  I need validation from people who care which is why I use my counselor and my friends with experience with counseling in domestic violence and the physical and emotional abuse group here.  Part of me wishes I could not get bothered by his friends on myspace because it... ok I am rambling... it hurts.  I don't have close friends like I need.  I need real friends not myspace friends.  I have friends here and that helps and thank you for reading this and all your support here it means A LOT.  PS  Bunny got away again.  This time she hasn't been found.  She wasn't as secure as we thought.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

yes u DO have friends HERE! i would just totally forget about the whole \"myspace\" thing all 2gether, if i were u. it sounds like ts only adding UNESSECARY stress. neway, myspace isnt really for about true friendship. its just a popularity contest, for the most part. and i think that u are plenty popular rite here!!! God blees, and get some time in for just YOU, u deserve it!
deleted_user
deleted_user

((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
it will get better. keep on keepin on. it will get better. keep on keepin on.
repeat daily!
miss you!
deleted_user
deleted_user

If you cut ties with things and people no longer good for you, you\'ll make space for the new. You are already doing it! One day you\'ll see a different scenario. (Hope bunny is found soon). Lots of love;
deleted_user
deleted_user

I hope you find bunny!
In my experience you will never get validation from ppl in your everyday life. No matter how much horror you experienced with your ex, it does not matter to the general public, or even to your closest friends or family, so you just have to come to an acceptance of that. I don\'t exactly know why it is. It has to do with their inability to \"cope\", I think, or relate to what you\'re talking about, or even know what to do. It takes a certain level of experience to be able to give you empathy. So I hope you can find that the empathy you find here on DS can satisfy that deep and empty hole your ex left. As for me I know exactly what you mean, so I empathize with your situation totally. Maybe try focusing more on yourself like you were talking about last week, getting back to doing those things you used to do before. That\'s awesome. Try to brush things off, I don\'t know what to say on not letting that guy bother you or the myspace bother you. I hope you can find it inconsequential.
HUGS! xoxoxo your friend
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thank you for sharing yourself with all your friends. Yes, we are your friends. Posting helps me to get out of my stress/anxiety/fear. My son leaves his motel today. The weather is cold/rainy. The answer to it all: TURN IT OVER TO HP/GOD. Blessings.
deleted_user
deleted_user

You are being so strong. I know how hard it is with the myspace thing. It\'s your space but it\'s hard not to be rude. Thats the trouble with breakups, theres always still connections to sever so u can be as free of it as you can. And yes it does hurt, but you are doing so well. You are actively working on things, which is a step in itself. Your doing great, keep doing it! Big Hug