I am doing this nice receptionist job the last two months that ends this week. I got so crabby yesterday, I was really impatient with people. I felt bad. Customer service is starting to wear on me. I think I'm really feeling the effects of the loss and abusiveness of the relationship I kept going back to. I mean, I have really settled for less and I have a lot of healing and growth to do. I used to just be so dependent on him and not want him to end it, instead of seeing how harmful his treatment of me was. I don't understand why else I am having such a hard time at work. I am rather tired after a few weeks of working overtime, I'm sure that applies. I went to the gym in between jobs yesterday to use the jacuzzi, sauna, cold dip, back and forth, and the sauna. It improved my mood tremendously. I found out my part time evening job will also end this week, and I will still be called on to sub as needed if necessary. Ok then! I guess God is telling me I have worked enough overtime and it is time for me to do other things. I have relief, sadness, and some fear. I enjoy doing temporary work I guess I am feeling a little insecure about the instability of it. I'm not surprized about the part time job being of temporary nature. I am just sort of frustrated with the lack of communication there. It seems everything is done by email and it's just not real effective sometimes. I don't think it is a place I could ultimately count on because of the unpredictability of it, but I will try to remain open. The boss is telling me I could sub for a class (instead of just in the computer lab) and I just don't know the first thing about how to go about doing that. Not the best training in the world. Not feeling real ambitious about it at this point. I do have an opportunity to fill in there for someone in a few weeks if all goes well. I'm rather excited about the temporary job I have starting next week. Third college I am working at lately. I get to dress casual there and do administrative assistance. I have been working there off and on for over 3 years. It is a fun job at a college radio station where I volunteer. I might put a temporary mouse color on my hair like red or black just to have the chance to be creative with my looks. I feel rather blah. It has been a week since I asked him to leave me alone. Those of you in abusive relationships know the effects can remain for some time. I am grateful for counseling. It will be good for me to have some down time to process things.
Replies
Oh, yes, it takes loads of patience. It is hard and takes time, like an open wound, it is harder to take things or do things that you used to do. It sounds like you\'re finding things to have fun with! That is great. Love! xoxo
It does take time to process everything and to heal from the abuse. Now is the time when you need to be really good to yourself, spoil yourself if you can, and get out and exercise. Be good to yourself, give yourself time to heal. I am making progress, but it takes time.
YES, of course the ending of that part of ur life, abusive or not (in my opinion) certaily plays a major role in how ur feeling. i think u should just \"let urself feel\" those feelings. not ness. dwell on them, but give urself ample time to process them so u are able to MOVE ON. the temp. job @ the college sounds like a lotta fun! i think that would be a great job. and yes i agree that GOD will take care of u and provide u with all u need as well as employment. im am SOOOO very PROUD of u, for taking a stand for URSELF and no longer allowing this person (or neone for that matter) to hurt. i kno how painfull this sh*t can be, and we all kno that TIME (along w/GOD) is really the only source of relief. so be as patient as poss. w/ urself. i have NO DOUBT that u will ultimately be very happy w/this decision. God bless!
\"U\". (to hurt U)
(((((((((((hugs and respect!)))))))))))))