I am doing this nice receptionist job the last two months that ends this week. I got so crabby yesterday, I was really impatient with people. I felt bad. Customer service is starting to wear on me. I think I'm really feeling the effects of the loss and abusiveness of the relationship I kept going back to. I mean, I have really settled for less and I have a lot of healing and growth to do. I used to just be so dependent on him and not want him to end it, instead of seeing how harmful his treatment of me was. I don't understand why else I am having such a hard time at work. I am rather tired after a few weeks of working overtime, I'm sure that applies. I went to the gym in between jobs yesterday to use the jacuzzi, sauna, cold dip, back and forth, and the sauna. It improved my mood tremendously. I found out my part time evening job will also end this week, and I will still be called on to sub as needed if necessary. Ok then! I guess God is telling me I have worked enough overtime and it is time for me to do other things. I have relief, sadness, and some fear. I enjoy doing temporary work I guess I am feeling a little insecure about the instability of it. I'm not surprized about the part time job being of temporary nature. I am just sort of frustrated with the lack of communication there. It seems everything is done by email and it's just not real effective sometimes. I don't think it is a place I could ultimately count on because of the unpredictability of it, but I will try to remain open. The boss is telling me I could sub for a class (instead of just in the computer lab) and I just don't know the first thing about how to go about doing that. Not the best training in the world. Not feeling real ambitious about it at this point. I do have an opportunity to fill in there for someone in a few weeks if all goes well. I'm rather excited about the temporary job I have starting next week. Third college I am working at lately. I get to dress casual there and do administrative assistance. I have been working there off and on for over 3 years. It is a fun job at a college radio station where I volunteer. I might put a temporary mouse color on my hair like red or black just to have the chance to be creative with my looks. I feel rather blah. It has been a week since I asked him to leave me alone. Those of you in abusive relationships know the effects can remain for some time. I am grateful for counseling. It will be good for me to have some down time to process things.
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