I may be doing the last day at this particular temporary job. I do still have internet access at least once weekly but not like being at a computer all day where I am able to be online so I am letting my friends know in case I am not around as much, and we'll see about that! Oh well what a neat Saturday night. I had this feeling when I did my normal prayers that morning when I prayed for God's will, that he had something in mind for me. So I found a dog on my morning walk outside it's residence and returned it. Then I got to loan money to a friend and happened to bring him milk and cereal he said he'd prayed for because he was out of them. So on way home Saturday night I spotted a bunny! He was on sidewalk of a major intersection and I pulled over and sort of gave up trying to catch him, and he was wandering out in traffic and I kept covering my eyes in case he got hit. A couple other cars pulled over as I went back in my car and gave up. So they tried to catch him and I hung around. One guy asked if I wanted to catch him, and a woman asked if she caught him would I take the bunny, I said yes. They caught him! I stopped by to show the bunny to my family and pets. He (or she's) regular size, quite big compared to my new dwarf bunny. I got some pellets and told my off & on bf that I had a surprize for him. I took it up to him and he welcomed the pet and now it is part of his family, and they like him. :) So I spent time with him that night and the next day I took a movie over. "Into the wild" based on a true story of a college grad who chooses to live in the wilderness in Alaska. It was quite good. OK so time with him, anyway I just was able to enjoy the affection and that is where I am at. Part of this cycle of emotional abuse, in the "honeymoon" phase described in Lenore Walker's "The Battered Woman". It's like I suffer and then later on I forget or deny and just do what we do together. It was kind of nice to have couple time. I realize in my past I have this tendency, to be with someone who isn't healthy for me. Sometimes I convince myself it isn't that bad. I feel dread of disappointing my supporters when I come here in pain and suffering and identify his emotional abusiveness, and then I have to say I'm not staying away. I guess that is the description of an addict for you. I have counseling appointment tomorrow and I feel like I am at a point where I feel like I will always settle, I guess I feel rather stuck or just helpless. I mean I am 37 and what if I want a child???? I don't want to resent him for me staying in this relationship when it isn't something I can see bringing a child into the world (he already has several kids and a vasectomy and I don't think I'd want to raise a child with him because of those things I find in him to be unhealthy). This is my first relationship in sobriety. I didn't have a chance for a healthy life before I got sober. Now as I experience things I am becoming aware of what is working and what isn't whether or not it's familiar. OK I mean this relationship meets some of my needs but when I think about my life, don't I see myself giving myself a chance to have a family????? Or am I meant to be alone because the man I love isn't right for me to have a family with??? I love my life. I am grateful for my family, my sobriety, the grace I am learning to have for myself in being imperfect, my progress, when I take care of myself, using my gym membership to go into the jacuzzi, sauna, cold dip, pool and steam room, for the opportunities I have, for my journals, for my memories and my experience, for laughter, for being able to relate to people, and for my pets.
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***hugs***
Make sure you\'re always doing what makes you happy. Congrats on your sobriety, and congrats for all those self-realizations at the end of your entry. :)
i used to think that i 2 was meant to be \"ALONE\". but now i kno that, that is not the case. i was \"alone\" because i was to afraid to let neone into my life because they may really get to kno me, and i couldnt have that. i thot it was truely my destiny to be alone. (as far as a partner is concerned) and since i got sober ive realized soooo much. jsut as u see these changes in urself everyday and have began to question things like ur bf and realizing little by litte that maybe just maybe hes far from what u need and even farther fr what u want. i think the longer that you are sober the more u are goin to question these ideas. im not @ all tryin to tell u what to do, hope u dont think that. not even saying u shouldnt be with him. just to keep an open mind about EVERYTHING. because u DO deserve to be HAPPY in the truest meaning of happiness. not EVER settling for nething less than what u r certain u want. GOD will show us all in time, i believe what he wants for us and where he wants us. as well as who he wants us with. i hope this wasnt to confusing. (i do tend to get carried away--these days!!) luv-n-prayers....
First of all, don\'t worry about what other ppl think! LOL. A journal is a great place to just be honest. I know other ppl read it but really, anyone who judges you is kind of being a nut, don\'t you think?
I agree with prcdtons things happen in God\'s time and we don\'t know why.
Those are good life questions. Time goes by fast and we can\'t stop the clock. So if you want a plan for you, then you have to make sure of that otherwise plans get made for you -- heard that in the Astronaut Farmer and thought it was wise.
I went on-again-off-again with my ex bf for years. We only lived together for four months out of three years. I was on DS many times scared out of my mind because I never knew what or who I was going to get when he came in to town; was he going to be an asshole or an angel??? I am glad no one judged me but they sure said, \"Get away from him fast\". I did finally end up ending it and I haven\'t seen him since August, it was a lot of limbo. So I think you are pretty normal. Just make a plan for what you want, it\'s your life. As for me I think kids are very hard. If you want kids you have to weigh in that you will be somehow attached to that father for the rest of your life. Also spend time around kids and go on some of these discussion boards like Parenting Teens ... that\'s good birth control. LOL! It\'s a big gamble, you never know what you\'re going to get, but it is also a great reward. Hope this helps. Love xoxo
Well my first thought upon reading this was \"don\'t settle for second best, if you want kids then start making decisions that are more likely to lead you in that direction. Take a risk.\" Of course that is easier said than done, and I can see how that would be difficult for you, but I have to say that again and again I see you questioning whether or not this guy is the right guy for you. Will you ever be sure about this guy? Is this the same guy from your past relationship where abuse was involved? Are you making excuses for him and if so,..why? Do you feel sorry for him or are you scared of being without a man? Are there any fears that you still need to face?
Sorry if i sound mean! got a bit carried away, I\'m just trying to ask questions that I would want people to ask me if i was in the same situation. Much love. xxxxx.
I know what u mean about the \'honey moon stage\'. Isn\'t it funny how when we love someone we look to the nice things they do to us more than the crap, even when there is heaps more crap,and those nice feelings are like a drug, they feel so good, they are definately addictive. It makes it so hard to stay away then. I do it, I have to remind myself or ask myself is this loving me behaviour. I know how hard it is.
It\'s a very scary place being alone, and I know how hard it is to get to a point in your life where u don\'t need to want someone or have someone u love in ur life or your head. I think for anyone getting to that point is like a miracle! Good on you sweetie you are working through things with alot of insight and strength. Big Hug