I am sticking to my routine on my day off, doing things for me.  The off and on boyfriend is being difficult - I mean I am basically putting him on hold, I guess holding on yet haven't seen him in two weeks and he is letting me know it is not easy or ok with him, and he isn't being very nice.  I guess I hang on to avoid the loss.  I don't know.  He delivered a framed drawing he made for me early before I awoke.  We are so incompatible in some ways and I just find myself losing tolerance for those things in him I've settled for.  It's not personal to him, it's just when I find something not healthy and it's ok for him he doesn't understand it's not healthy and it's hard for me.  So I am still on the fence. I am so grateful for the understanding and support I get here for this craziness, typical of me, love addict, codependent. I let bunny out of her cage to play in the yard last night knowing I may not be able to catch her and put her back in (I didn't) so she spent night out and exploring.  Mom finally got her in tonight, she has been her primary caretaker since I am busy.  It is so cute to watch her run and eat grasses.  It would be nice to let her live like that instead of caged.  Mom gave her a little fenced patio of a round cage on the grass around her open cage so she can explore a little.  It is cute to see mom with bunny and our doggie we've had one year.  She is a good mommy.  I wasn't raised around a family loving pets.  I am blessed to have this now. Today I got to loan money to a friend, I'd offered before just in case, and it is a new postion, giving something back that has been given to me.  Something told me to bring him milk and cereal and he told me he had been praying for it (I know him - I knew if he needed cash he didn't have food).  He's said he told God he didn't have milk or cereal, and he prayed.  That is just the kind of guy he is.  It made me feel good.  We are friends and he is such a decent guy.  When he met my off and on boyfriend the first time he was so nice, and I know it was hard for him.  My off and on is all tattooed, we are so different.  Anyway I know this friend has a little thing for me, he is too decent and good to let it interfere with our friendship, I still found myself avoiding him because my pattern of friendships with men who usually have ulterior motives leave me sad and dealing with loss when the truth comes out.  So I gave him a loan for a week or so, and I paid off my last car payment of my cute new (classic) car that is new to me (bought it from dad).  So it feels good to have my friend notice I am doing better, better job, short haircut, new car, money to loan, growth in sobriety. I may find out this temporary job I'm doing could end Tuesday, because the women I'm covering for may be able to return from her leave.  I am sad, but truly grateful for the experience.  I won't have regular online access most likely when this happens, so I'll miss u all.  I'm sad about that.  We'll see.  HUG