This path of growth and healing and counseling and reading.  I think of when I joined DS in Oct.  I see growth.  I see it when I see my ex/off & on boyfriend.  He is not growing with me.  We have grown apart.  I am impressed with what I am learning in codependency recovery, that I don't have to react to his stuff, and realizing his stuff for what it is through domestic violence counseling, he attempts to have power and control over me and it is abusive.  It hurts.  I am learning I can't change him or make him see my limits.  I tell him until I'm blue in the face and he just bypasses it to try to get what he wants.  A couple days ago I told him to leave me alone when he hung up on me.  He often reacts with anger when I bring up the hurt I experience with him.  So he said he would, and he isn't.  His message last night was the most scariest I have felt of him.  He said he wasn't going to let me slip through his fingers as easily as he has in the past, so I may as well talk to him.  It is a threat and again, like he thinks he has me in the palm of his hand, it's about power and control, not intimacy.  Maybe I used to be more submissive, maybe he thought he had me in the palm of his hand because I would go back after he broke up w/ me so many times.He just called at work and is demanding an answer, if this is the end of the road for us.  I ask him if he heard one thing I said the last time I saw him.  That is when I laid it all down.  Obviously he didn't, so why bother say anything if he doesn't hear me?  He hung up on me again.  I am working.  It is so rude.  He is so hostile.  He thinks sex is the answer .  I told him it is not healthy for me to have sex with someone I am not getting along with the last time I saw him.  I told him we've grown apart and it's not healthy. Of course he is trying to break me.  He has no clue, all he can think of is his needs and I am on a different path.